this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2024

206 points (96.0% liked)

Not The Onion

12344 readers

1052 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

206

Hurricane Debby blows cocaine worth over $1 million onto beach in Florida Keys, U.S. Border Patrol says (www.cbsnews.com)

submitted 3 months ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

23 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 23 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] Zier@fedia.io 38 points 3 months ago

Come to Florida with snow white beaches. It'll make your toes tingle.

[–] adespoton@lemmy.ca 31 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This’ll get shortened to “Debbie blows $1mil cocaine on Florida Beach, US Border Patrol” in short order I’m sure….

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

And then she'll do Dallas.

[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sharknado 4: Cocaine Sharknado, coming soon!

[–] Drunemeton@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

To correctly number them…

Sharknado 9: It’s Cocaine Time!

(An IMDB search for the titular name shows eight TV Movies/Specials.)

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Amazing! $900,000 worth of cocaine on the beach!?

[–] fernlike3923@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wow! $800,000 worth of cocaine is crazy!

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago

Wow, I wonder if some upstanding citizen will report this $700,000 pile of cocaine to the proper authorities?

[–] Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz 14 points 3 months ago

I like that the headline sounds like there was just a $1mil pile of loose cocaine somewhere that got blown away by the hurricane.

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

Florida man snorts entire beach

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

Brb heading to Florida for... A thing

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 13 points 3 months ago

This explains the whole Florida man thing honestly

[–] Frog@lemmy.ca 12 points 3 months ago

Florida man is about to get a boost of energy.

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 months ago

Must be something in the air

[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 months ago

Good lord I wish I was on a Florida beach right now

[–] molten@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Got a key bump.

I'll let myself out.

[–] v_krishna@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 months ago

For $1M I hope it's a couple of keys and not just a bump.

[–] rem26_art@fedia.io 7 points 3 months ago

Florida Man VS Cocaine Gator. Who will win this epic showdown?

[–] runner_g@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 months ago

Fox news tonight: WHY IS THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION NOT DOING MORE TO COMBAT HURRICANES BRINGING DRUGS INTO THE COUNTRY?

[–] Schmuppes@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

So Volkswagen is now selling their own brand of cocaine?

[–] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 3 points 3 months ago

thats a lot of blow.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

How is giving that amount of cocaine to the regime being "a good Samaritan"? Double standards!

[–] Hegar@fedia.io 1 points 3 months ago

More like hurricane Charlie.