Haha, those were excuses because she had already found a new dick.
this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2024
386 points (96.4% liked)
Greentext
4430 readers
916 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
No they weren't since all greentexts are fake and also gay.
2 dicks are better than 1! 🤠
Not for DoubleDickDude.
I was going to make an unexpected factorial joke, but I realized that 1! is 1, so I guess you're right.
The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources where focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.
I don't think we became stupider, I think on average we even became smarter.
The thing is, stupid people have less inhibitions from sharing the stupid things they've been thinking and doing, and thanks to the internet they can share all of them with everyone!
All it takes to change people's views is one person who knows how to talk.
So did they fix or no?
Yes - and no.
Best they could do was more hairy erections.
Tell me more about this conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.
Idiocracy?
Indeed
Dodged a bullet. Anyone that stupid you should avoid
Rise up all growers not showers!
The first time I saw this label was on Reddit. I didn't know what it meant at the time, though it should have been obvious.
I managed to interpret it as a competition between a gardener and one who bathes. I figured it out within a few minutes, but that's still an embarrassingly long time.
Rise up all growers
It just takes us a bit longer.
I am a lady, older and experienced, and growers are fucking magical. Really can't imagine caring that much, but if I have a preference it runs in the opposite direction. And it seems more practical for life.
Someone might need to explain the idea of "growers" and "showers".
Much more likely that the guy had some trait that she didn't like that was much more hurtful and/or she knew the guy would not react to being told about the trait well. Better to just confuse the guy with some arbitrary insult and cut the relationship off.
That or she was cheating
Most likely this is fake.
And gay
Fake: anon has a gf
Gay: anon was soft in front of his fake gf
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto sh.itjust.works and open c/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
Fake: anon has a gf
Gay: anon was soft in front of his fake gf
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of lemmy perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Haha a good one
Or this dude is into some version of small penis humiliation and made it up to get off on (most likely given the source)
Growers are the best. Ya put this cute lil nubbin in yer mouth for a minute and MAGICALLY A MASSIVE MEAT ROD comes out.
Black Magic Fuckery indeed!
Some men's penises are always the same length whether flaccid or erect. They are showers (show-ers not showe-ers)
Some men's penises are very small while flaccid and extend to full length and thickness when stimulated (growers)
latter day erectionists.
So I do see how there could be a preference for a 'shower' because a big, well-formed dick is aesthetically pleasing even when soft.
Not that I can imagine any real person would be so hung up on this one detail for that to be a real deal-breaker in a relationship.
Greeks come to disagree :D
The aesthetic of a penis is way more dependent on shape than on how big it is when soft imo
Untrue: Has girlfriend Homosexual: This entire post is about dick