Embrace the power move.
this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2024
531 points (99.4% liked)
Greentext
4459 readers
504 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
The only correct answer, walk in proud with the head up.
Don't you mean ass up?
Only if you plan to ass-ert dominance
Only if you want an A
Exactly, you not have the upper hand. The only thing that could defeat you would be ass pennies.
A fart that serious wouldn't seem real, and that goes double if it appears that you unmuted specifically to make the noise. Just tell people it was a soundboard.
And now you're the person who has a massive fart on a soundboard, and you decided to randomly unmute yourself to show it off?
Thats exactly the kind of person we want to be. The soundboard guy, that’s one step away from radio talk show host.
You never know, this could have been a class about finance. Jim Cramer got disgustingly far using a soundboard. Also by grifting investors with his hedge fund, but mostly the soundboard.
You'd rather be the person who decided to randomly unmute to share your actual factual filthy self? At least a soundboard is just a poorly judged joke (that actually landed, if the teacher laughed). Or you can be a fart pervert.
Everyone can respect an actual monstrous fart.
I have two on my sound board, but you do you
No. You own that shit, pun very much intended
Follow it up with
Thanks, Taco Bell
And lean into Taco Bell being your new nickname. Easy.
I see this going one of two ways; free Taco Bell, or getting pelted with sauce packets
"Free Taco Bell" is the name of the GoFundMe for your legal defense because you got arrested for protesting the war after class
Or free taco bell while getting pelted with sauce packets. Which might be even better if that's their kink 🤷
Just pop a "😎" in the chat. No further elaboration required.
This is the right answer
"HEY GUYS! DID YOU HEAR THAT EPIC FART I MADE? NEARLY SHAT MY PANTS!"
* everyone laughs and forgets about it*
Honestly the teacher laughing was enough, literally no one is going to give a fuck after that.
People need to realize that they are not the main character, if you want something embarrassing you did to go away just don’t bring it up. People aren’t jotting down notes to bring up later, they have full lives of their own, no one in college has time to commit this to memory any more than a funny anecdote and they won’t bother to remember who did it.
Counterpoint: I still vividly remember a guy ripping a fart in class more than 20 years ago. Maybe because we've been writing a test and, up until that point, the classroom had been deadly silent before bursting into laughter.
Or maybe because he did it again, a couple of days later.
Oh for sure, I remember anecdotes like that too, but unless the person is still a friend I’m not going to remember who exactly did it.
But that could be a me thing, my wife always tells me I’m bad at remembering details
I'd always heard if you're presenting in front of a crowd and rip a fart, say something to the effect of "I was hoping to finish with a bang, not start with one." But I'm not sure how relevant that is for OP's situation.
Like a god damned King, Anon. That's how.
Woah! I knew that was gonna be impressive and I was taught to share!
Now you are a part of a joke that will live on in those people's heads for their life.
Assert dominance, do it again.
You can’t mess with tradition, you gotta enter on the tail of an epic fart!
"oh sorry, I was trying to mute myself, I didn't notice we were already muted."
This is the beta play