Fabricated and homosexual.
this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
446 points (98.1% liked)
Greentext
4430 readers
1187 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Say the line, anon!
You either die a virgin, or live long enough to see yourself become a Chad.
Whew, the artificial samesexness is dripping on this one.
That being said, there is something pretty awesome about discovering your body like that.
You're doing puberty, or it's doing you, and you're in this toxic relationship with it. And then you discover something like lifting that puts you into connection with it, and your whole way of looking at the world changes.
When I started lifting big, it was a weird experience. I was never small, my family runs to big hairy dudes. But I wasn't big, just big. Broad shoulders, broad hands, and potential. My family on my dad's side also puts on muscle easy. So, when I started lifting at 16, it was like fucking magic. All that testosterone finally given something to do other than cause pimples and boners.
You go from this awkward, ill fitting body into mass. It changes the way you think about yourself, and that changes how you think about the world. It can be a negative thing, and I certainly had some phases where it was. But it's a net positive most of the time.
And I definitely ran into the difference between being a slightly pudgy and non muscular doofus and being a decidedly muscular, but slightly pudgy doofus. Again, positives and negatives, but you definitely get more attention from girls/women. Sometimes not good attention tbh.
Get into cycling. T-Rex gets no love... But baby big guns suck on the hills... but baby put your forearm next to it, see? My legs are each bigger than your waist. Bae, I'll be back some time after dark, got to build base like almost every day for the last month. I can't go out tonight bae, my race starts at 8 am tomorrow. No I won't be able to tomorrow either. I have a recovery ride to do and then I'll be wiped out completely.
The odds of meeting people on the road for extracurricular activities is pretty much nill for a racer. The odds of simply finding anyone that can keep up is pretty much impossible unless you actually meet and invite them, and group rides are usually like unofficial races. Roadie kit is like super anon costume too.
Ride MTB, dork.
mfw, I absolutely destroy like a god on MTB
No joke, I was super dangerous on mountain before I was disabled by a driver equivalent of a third grader behind the wheel. Some of my worst crashes were on mountain. I was not super mobile or skilled, but had the legs to fly. I rode a 6in travel carbon cannondale jekyll to try and make up the difference and get myself out of some hairy situations. On an XC bike, I crush all... till I crash.
Mountain is fun, like a vacation, but a mountain bike can only be a friend, while a road bike is like a really great lover. If you know, you know.
Please stop sticking your dick down the seat post hole.
He has a dildo seat actually
Happy Cakeday! 🍰🎂
Anon you can always buy a strap-on and have her use it on you if that's what it takes to maintain the friendship.
Then he wakes up
He has essentially become a woman? Has to worry that all his friends may just want to get in his pants?
If it's 4chan why is he not exploiting it?
Clearly you have never been to /fit
Poor guys trapped in the closet.
Yeah, because the only way a guy can want a platonic friendship with a girl is if he’s gay