this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 85 points 1 month ago (2 children)

In other words: Coca-cola doesn't have a million to burn like the other oligarchs but wants to make Donny Two-Scoops feel like their special boy.

[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 72 points 1 month ago

In other words, Coca-Cola realized that they don't need to spend $1 million dollars, they can just slap "Special Boy" on a bottle for 6 cents and achieve the same result.

[–] PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 25 points 1 month ago

You don't think the coca cola company has a million to burn?

THE COCA COLA COMPANY?!!

They just know that donny will lap this tat up and ask for seconds

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 53 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You know every time he does something, someone in the comments makes an idiocracy reference and we all roll our eyes because "Yeah, theres the low hanging fruit guy coming to farm votes" like its an original thought.

Well... Its my turn.

"This Inauguration brought to you by Diet coke. DIET COKE, IF YOU DONT DRINK IT FUCK YOU!"

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Except Idiocracy didn’t go far enough. Drumph isn’t going to walk around saying he’s sponsored by Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola is going to go around saying they’re sponsored by him.

“The Coca-Cola Company, sponsored by Donald Trump. Donald Trump - Fuck you!”

[–] QubaXR@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Did Coke just call him fat?

[–] BoobaAwooga@lemmynsfw.com 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nah according to people from last time he was president he drinks this shit a LOT

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Holy shit it's not a joke.

Also:

James Corden has said that Joe Biden has an "ice cream button" on his desk.

Quickly, Ben & Jerry's, you still got a few days left!

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

I like this timeline

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

It was diet Coke

It is basically health food

[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Can coca cola please gift him more non-diet cokes so he can get diabeetus and die

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Or just Diet Coke laced with polonium.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip -1 points 1 month ago

That's kind of a terrible thing to say. I wouldn't wish death or diabetes on anyone.

With that being said, Coke and Pepsi are slowly killing America

[–] arandomthought@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago

I saw the community this was posted in and my brain somehow removed the "not" in "not the Onion". I was like "haha, oh the Onion. They still got it."

Then I looked at the community again...

[–] Soulifix@kbin.melroy.org 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Want to know something funny?

Coke won't allow anyone to put Jesus on Coke, but they'll happily put Trump on it.

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 month ago

Trump's probably a much better customer than Jesus.

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 1 points 1 month ago

I might not understand how Christianity does these things, but wouldn't putting Jesus on coke be sacrilegious as fuck?

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This is great

People here get way to up in arms when Trump is mentioned. Just enjoy the stupidity of the world.

[–] kyle@lemm.ee 6 points 1 month ago

LBJ had a special button installed that would summon someone to bring him a Fresca.

[–] funkycarrot@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 month ago
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Bring him a Tab Clear

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fucking bootlicking piece of ass

[–] SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago

As much as I want to call out bootlickers, it would honestly be weirder if they didn't continue the tradition.

Headline might as well be "Trump first president to prefer Diet Coke."

[–] futatorius@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago

I have a suggestion as to where he can put it.

[–] QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 month ago

"I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke."