this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 85 points 3 months ago (2 children)

In other words: Coca-cola doesn't have a million to burn like the other oligarchs but wants to make Donny Two-Scoops feel like their special boy.

[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 72 points 3 months ago

In other words, Coca-Cola realized that they don't need to spend $1 million dollars, they can just slap "Special Boy" on a bottle for 6 cents and achieve the same result.

[–] PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 25 points 3 months ago

You don't think the coca cola company has a million to burn?

THE COCA COLA COMPANY?!!

They just know that donny will lap this tat up and ask for seconds

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 53 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You know every time he does something, someone in the comments makes an idiocracy reference and we all roll our eyes because "Yeah, theres the low hanging fruit guy coming to farm votes" like its an original thought.

Well... Its my turn.

"This Inauguration brought to you by Diet coke. DIET COKE, IF YOU DONT DRINK IT FUCK YOU!"

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

Except Idiocracy didn’t go far enough. Drumph isn’t going to walk around saying he’s sponsored by Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola is going to go around saying they’re sponsored by him.

“The Coca-Cola Company, sponsored by Donald Trump. Donald Trump - Fuck you!”

[–] QubaXR@lemmy.world 33 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Did Coke just call him fat?

[–] BoobaAwooga@lemmynsfw.com 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Nah according to people from last time he was president he drinks this shit a LOT

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Holy shit it's not a joke.

Also:

James Corden has said that Joe Biden has an "ice cream button" on his desk.

Quickly, Ben & Jerry's, you still got a few days left!

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 months ago

I like this timeline

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 months ago

It was diet Coke

It is basically health food

[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Can coca cola please gift him more non-diet cokes so he can get diabeetus and die

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

Or just Diet Coke laced with polonium.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip -1 points 3 months ago

That's kind of a terrible thing to say. I wouldn't wish death or diabetes on anyone.

With that being said, Coke and Pepsi are slowly killing America

[–] arandomthought@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 months ago

I saw the community this was posted in and my brain somehow removed the "not" in "not the Onion". I was like "haha, oh the Onion. They still got it."

Then I looked at the community again...

[–] Soulifix@kbin.melroy.org 8 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Want to know something funny?

Coke won't allow anyone to put Jesus on Coke, but they'll happily put Trump on it.

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 11 points 3 months ago

Trump's probably a much better customer than Jesus.

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 1 points 3 months ago

I might not understand how Christianity does these things, but wouldn't putting Jesus on coke be sacrilegious as fuck?

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

This is great

People here get way to up in arms when Trump is mentioned. Just enjoy the stupidity of the world.

[–] kyle@lemm.ee 6 points 3 months ago

LBJ had a special button installed that would summon someone to bring him a Fresca.

[–] funkycarrot@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 3 months ago
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Bring him a Tab Clear

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Fucking bootlicking piece of ass

[–] SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 months ago

As much as I want to call out bootlickers, it would honestly be weirder if they didn't continue the tradition.

Headline might as well be "Trump first president to prefer Diet Coke."

[–] futatorius@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago

I have a suggestion as to where he can put it.

[–] QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 months ago

"I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke."