this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Emerald@lemmy.world 31 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

So nobody is going to talk about how he said "without the intent to fertilize an embryo" and not "fertilize an egg"? You can't fertilize an embryo lmao

[–] MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago

This is a stunt bill designed to draw attention to how anti-woman most anti-abortion laws are

[–] Critical_Thinker@lemm.ee 39 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material

Genetic Material is DNA. Dry skin falling off is technically discharging genetic material. As is bleeding...

Technically a woman would be grossly violating this with every period... or by giving birth.

[–] MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

In a statement to WLBT News, Blackmon wrote, “All across the country, especially here in Mississippi, the vast majority of bills relating to contraception and/or abortion focus on the woman’s role when men are fifty percent of the equation.

This bill highlights that fact and brings the man’s role into the conversation. People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.”

Did you miss this?

[–] nekbardrun@lemmy.world 24 points 6 days ago

In this thread:

A lot of men who didn't read the article and didn't got the satirical part of the act.

And given the last political polemic, I'm pretty sure these "men" are misrepresenting the article on purpose.

[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 24 points 6 days ago (17 children)

That's satirical, right?

Right?

[–] JB33@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago

Yes, it's proposed to show how dumb the "life begins at conception idea" is. Blackmon doesn't actually want this to pass

[–] MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

yes, it is intended to highlight how anti-woman mst anti-abortion laws are

[–] MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

Read the article.

"In a statement to WLBT News, Blackmon wrote, “All across the country, especially here in Mississippi, the vast majority of bills relating to contraception and/or abortion focus on the woman’s role when men are fifty percent of the equation.

This bill highlights that fact and brings the man’s role into the conversation. People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.”

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[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 16 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Contraception begins in the hand

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

Very touching. Touching also begins in the hand

[–] _cryptagion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I want to believe this is a satirical bill meant to bring attention to how absurd a lot of other bills are, but it is Mississippi. And with how things are going these past several years, it's becoming harder and harder to tell at face value if something is an Onion or not.

[–] skeezix@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago

Did you know that Mississippi is the anus of the US?

[–] Lesrid@lemm.ee 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Here's to the land you've torn out the heart of/

Mississippi find yourself another country to be part of/

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.

Then you have the wrong job as a representative.

[–] endeavor@sopuli.xyz 4 points 6 days ago

I'd say he is perfect for the role and he is sure to raise through the ranks of american politics at a rapid pace.

[–] A_A@lemmy.world 16 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

🤣
SECTION 1.
(1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."

(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:
( a ) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;
( b ) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and
( c ) Ten Thousand Dollars ($10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:
( a ) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and
( b ) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

SECTION 2.
This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025

[–] Nomecks@lemmy.ca 7 points 6 days ago

Shit, I vomited without intent to fertilize an embryo

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 6 days ago (7 children)

I know its Mississippi but this guy has to realize this targets women with a bias. Men: "Don't masturbate or have sex for fun!"... Damn that sucks.. Women: "Don't masturbate or have sex for fun!.. oh and don't ever release an egg again". Wait I cant exist as a woman pre menopausal? Nope

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[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 3 points 6 days ago

Well by rule 4(a) it seems encouraged to wank into an envelope and post it to him.

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[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (6 children)

10k just be be able to jerk it 3 times? This guy is a loser. I'll jerk it all day for free. He can't charge me a fee

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[–] Critical_Thinker@lemm.ee 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material: ... ( b ) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

So basically it's illegal to do so without the intent to fertilize an embryo... unless doing it as part of a contraceptive method? Isn't abstinence - e.g. not having sex - a legitimate method?.... wouldn't masturbation be a way to manage abstinence?

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[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 4 points 6 days ago

I believe this makes it a woman's duty to take all erections up the right hole.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (2 children)

(a) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo;

This means it's legal to pull out and fill a jar to donate to such a facility.

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[–] victorz@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (4 children)

So what is this? Some kind of anti masturbation law?

[–] MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago (4 children)

In a statement to WLBT News, Blackmon wrote, “All across the country, especially here in Mississippi, the vast majority of bills relating to contraception and/or abortion focus on the woman’s role when men are fifty percent of the equation.

This bill highlights that fact and brings the man’s role into the conversation. People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.”

The article is very short.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

My article is 12 inches and very girthy actually, thank you! There used to be a surgeon in California to help you all with short articles. Sadly, you know, the fires...

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Short article, yet you failed to include the third that makes it illegal to jerk it:

"As written by Sen. Bradford Blackmon, the bill would make it “unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.”"

[–] nepenthes@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Because it's SATIRE!!

If anyone is unsure-- look the senator up, he's a Democrat.

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[–] WordBox@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (4 children)

It took me less time to find out what this was about than to make this response.

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[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 3 points 6 days ago

The target obscure British comedy group named after the pet snake of one of their WW2 generals wrote a song about this exact situation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk

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