Brain worm guy has a point there
this post was submitted on 14 May 2025
852 points (99.2% liked)
Not The Onion
16214 readers
1642 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
its more or less a distraction of the tariffs, and trumps own doge who is run by vought now.
Maybe the brain worms will save us after all... I was so confused about the brainworms, and finally I read an article that said that he licked His hand after sticking it in a dead deer's mouth and got brain worms.
Not the type of guy I'd take advice on anything from... Well, that's not true. Maybe were to o score some...Nose beers.
I honestly don't know if the absurdity in your message is absurdist humor, or absurdist factual reality.
Life isn't fun when you're living in the world of an article from The Onion.
The smartest thing he has ever said and he doesn't even realize it
Dude sounds like he’s just some confused fishing buddy that a friend hired.
My brother in christ you are the secretary for health
While "fake it till you make it" works for personal gain, for the greatest good it's better to be incompetent and honest. No one to blame but Trump for putting him in this position.
Now if only he would remain steadfast and consistent with this sort of honesty. That's the issue with these fools, they are consistently inconsistent. It's the most aggravating form of stupidity.
Self aware wolf? That title made me laugh, and question what he's doing in that position, to administer eugenics only?
Is that stuff on his face removable?
Elizabeth Holmes admits she was in control of Theranos
But Ms. Holmes... did you not start this company?
"I swear to god, I was extremely incompetent. I had no clue what I did day in, day out. It's all just a blur. I'm not even sure why they hired me honestly."
“Fuck if I know what I did on my years-long coke bender”
"Not only am I a bad judge of who a good employee might be, but I'm also a bad employee. It's truly the worst situation, Your Honor."
"I was self-employed and my boss was an incompetent jerk."
"Seems to be a huge problem in self-employment. I’m self-employed, or was until my asshole boss got in a car accident in my car and somehow blamed the whole thing on me! Fucker is a procrastinator too."
"I've already punished myself with a pay cut."
"Look no reasonable person would have hired me, thus I'm clearly mentally unwell"
"I’m gonna sue my ass for what I did to me!"
“I am just a low-level CEO, I really just made the coffee.”
"As I said, I was incompetent. I should never have hired me."
She made the critical error of stealing from rich people
Alright no one's asking so I'm doing it. Are these real quotes? And ain't it a shame we're living in a time I need to ask that?
load more comments
(2 replies)
So did Martin Shkreli. (LOL, I Googled "guy who raised drug prices". First hit from Gemini. Maybe AI ain't so dumb?)
Shkreli not only bragged about it but had the nerve to be an insufferable little bitch while he was at it. With a punchable face. At least Holmes is cute.
Steal from the poor all ya like, never the rich. Reverse Robin Hood: A-OK.
But... You're the.... I.... I hate this timeline.
I’ll give him a slight amount of credit for saying that part out loud.
Let’s face it, his pushes are likely going to be cost cuts on anything the federal government is involved in, to try to make up on tax cuts and entitlement programs for the top 10%. Which will only, long game, make working class more unhealthy, angry, and desperate.
That's a twist
Must have been the brain worm talking.