this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2025
334 points (96.9% liked)

Not The Onion

16566 readers
898 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 47 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Any business that irks me in any way for the last year has instantly made my shitlist.

The only freedom Americans have left is where they spend their money

[–] Zer0_F0x@lemmy.world 185 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Literally psyops instead of helping. The people who did this are the characters you see getting shot in the movies and don't feel bad about it.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 31 points 1 week ago (4 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 64 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

This will drive them insane, but it will not deter them.

Soon, the city will be dealing with a bunch of unfortunate folks who are not only poor, but also enraged.

There you go, berserked homeless people!

[–] JustJack23@slrpnk.net 54 points 1 week ago

I love the idea of deterring them as if they have a choice and are just very persistent in exploring their passion, being homeless.....

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 week ago

“Ok, we hear you, but how can we add the irresistible craving to eat human flesh into the mix?” - the business owners, probably.

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 4 points 1 week ago

Evey street dweller will shout the lyrics to Baby Shark in every passerby's ears!

[–] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago

And then they call the swat team to clear their camps and accidentally concuss and paralyze a few of them

[–] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 50 points 1 week ago

Did they pay for the rights to play the song publicly?

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 42 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So were they deterred? Did this help them find a home?

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 36 points 1 week ago

"We just need to show them that homelessness isn't as comfortable as they think!"

[–] hypeerror@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How about getting everyone who's upset that they have to see homeless people and blinding them with hot pokers? That should work it out and we wouldn't need to pay royalties.

[–] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world -2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You are kinder than I would be

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Like Jesus, in fact.

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 18 points 1 week ago

Video unavailable
The uploader has not made this video available in your country

🤷

But I know the phenomenon. They also do this for shopping promenades to deter musicians etc.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

What little shits

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›