this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2025
601 points (98.5% liked)

Not The Onion

16997 readers
917 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

so... uhh... what's the point?

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 275 points 1 week ago (8 children)

So it's a taxi.

Motherfucker loves trying to reinvent the wheel only to end up at the goddamn wheel.

"I'ma invent a giant system that goes underground so we can move people around faster!" That's a subway, you santorum-covered condom.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 97 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Par for the course for techbros. His hyperloop was a shittier train. UberPool is a shittier bus. All these dumbfucks grow up being told they're the specialest boys, so of course people who made better things before them were clearly wrong.

[–] Eheran@lemmy.world 79 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hyperloop was a raging success - it stopped funding of railway. I believe he even admitted that this was behind it to begin with.

[–] albert180@piefed.social 25 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Luckily only in Murica.

The liberal parties here tried to make the same argument here, but luckily no one takes them seriously (in Europe this means something different, than in the US. It's not progressive/left-leaning, they are more like Libertarians/Republicans. They don't hate gay people, but hate paying taxes and regulations)

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 64 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Motherfucker loves trying to reinvent the wheel only to end up at the goddamn wheel.

A shittier version of the wheel.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] WaxiestSteam69@lemmy.world 43 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Isn't the Cybertruck steering wheel called a squircle?

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I cringed. I don't know if you made that up or not, and the fact that I genuinely can't tell made me sad for this stupid timeline.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 19 points 1 week ago

Apparently it fucking is. God I hate everything.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 33 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Hahahaha

Edit: oh fuck I thought you were just making a joke. Jesus fucking Christ.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Terrible name for a terrible design. Yoke style steering wheels are not safe for cars because they create awkward handholds as they rotate.

Yoke style works in planes and race cars where they aren't rotated 360+ degrees regularly, rarely over 90 degrees either direction.

[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago

If it made sense, Saab would have done it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

::: spoiler An X... New rimless cross spoke omnidirectional wheel pic of a tank trap

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] bazus1@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

props for the accurate use of "santorum."

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] net00@lemmy.today 68 points 1 week ago (1 children)
  • Will have a driver in the "robo" taxi
  • Will need to only run on specific area at specific time frame
  • Won't run in "bad" weather
  • Has all other kinds of small rules and quirks.

This seems like a complete waste of time for everyone involved.

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

It's almost like it's a grift for government contracts

[–] Red_October@lemmy.world 64 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Imagine that job though. It is your job to be a scapegoat for traffic collisions.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Showroom7561@lemmy.ca 50 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So..... A regular taxi, then? 🤔🤭😂😂😂😂

[–] Tja@programming.dev 46 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, this will be less convenient and more expensive. Like the tesla tunnel thing in Vegas: subway, but much worse.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] WaxiestSteam69@lemmy.world 48 points 1 week ago (7 children)

I thought it was a 2 seater with no controls. Lemme guess... It's a fleet of Model 3s.

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 34 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The driver fits in the trunk.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] einlander@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Didn't Tesla choose not to allow Tesla vehicle lessee's to not buy their cars so they can convert them to robo taxis and also software upgrade them so sell at a higher price in the certified pre-owned market?

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

That was the initial plan but it hit a number of roadblocks.

  1. The release of the Robotaxi product was much delayed, and had Tesla kept to the "no buyout of leased cars" they would have been swimming in returned vehicles with nothing to do with them yet.

  2. The policy was put in place at a time when the autonomous hardware was thought to be the "final" version (referred to as Hardware 3). It turns out the "final" version wasn't powerful enough, so a new final version was released (Hardware 4). So all the cars that were leased were not going to be useful as taxi cabs, so they offered those for sale to their leasers.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] peaceful_world_view@lemmy.world 47 points 1 week ago (2 children)

So just a regular Taxi then.....groundbreaking.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

if he innovates even more he might eventually invent trains!

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 21 points 1 week ago

He did it again. Except now you have a shitty robo taxi with a driver that pays no attention. The worst of both worlds.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago

For ‘driving’ reasons.

[–] RobotZap10000@feddit.nl 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The "human driver" in question:
Doug, the main character from the movie "Total Recall", ripping the Johnny humanoid robot out of its socket.

[–] DeadPixel@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hey man, I got 5 kids to feed

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 week ago

I must say, it's been a little nicer not having this dipshit in the headlines every single fucking day. I guess he's going to start saying things again and fuck with my peace of mind.

I think Musk should 100% trust his fucking piece of shit robotaxi tech and use it exclusively. Good chance it drives him off a bridge.

[–] boydster@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Waymo doesn't need it, but he does? lol

[–] Lazhward@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago (3 children)

That's because Tesla self-driving takes a different, and imo way worse, approach.

Waymo relies on mapping, the entire city is basically 3D modelled and loaded into the car memory. It's more or less 'on rails'. It also uses LIDAR for live data alongside imaging cameras, again building a 3D model of its environment combined with image recognition.

Tesla decided that, for some reason, they want their cars to drive 'like humans', only relying on vision and deployable anywhere, without pre-mapping.

Demanding a computer to behave like humans, instead of using a computer's strengths, seems like a very poorly thought out move to me.

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (9 children)

drive 'like humans', only relying on vision […] without pre-mapping.

Demanding a computer to behave like humans

So basically their taxis will go into the job of driving a taxi without any prior knowledge of the city? Like a human? Only relying on road signs? Will it also stop to ask for directions? Like wtf? What kind of stupid idea is this from Tesla. Sounds absolutely moronic.

A human taxi driver doesn't work like this. They are people who know the city very well going in, or at least used to before GPS navigation in vehicles came to aid.

[–] brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He's famously said that humans are good enough with just our two eyes. So he went the cheap route of not including lidar and relying on stereoscopic cameras.

He's an idiot. Because when I want stuff automated, I want it to be better than what a human can do.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] tfm@europe.pub 14 points 1 week ago

Waymo also has much more reliable tech. To my knowledge waymos are level 4 while Tesla is only level 2 (which doesn't even qualify as autonomous)

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Mihies@programming.dev 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Will the driver be dressed like Optimus?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] jsomae@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 week ago

I'm planning to launch a human-only taxi service, but to cut costs the humans will be AI.

[–] SuperSpruce@lemmy.zip 17 points 1 week ago

This is even worse than I expected. I expected another delay, or a autonomous taxi with a remote driver constantly monitoring at best. This is no better than a regular taxi.

[–] MrSmith@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

More fraud.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

yeah, totally not to keep the robotaxis from being molotoved. although after what musk did, not sure the presence of drivers will stop people.

[–] Saleh@feddit.org 41 points 1 week ago

More like: "If a "driver" is present and the car decides to kill someone, we can blame it on the human instead of the shoddy programming"

[–] albert180@piefed.social 12 points 1 week ago

And only handpicked hardcore cult-members are invited for the "beta-phase", and are invited to share their experiences via Video and Photo for Stock Pumping

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yet another fantastic win for the world's greatest business genius^TM^.

load more comments
view more: next ›