>be me, gay guy in high school
>get physically abused at home
>Learn to despise my own weakness
>want to be strong, to be a predator instead of prey
>beat up weak and vulnerable boys at school who remind me of my own weakness
>it makes me feel powerful and safe
>get out of school and into adulthood
>decide to try dating apps
>meet cute twink on bumble
>we go on a date together
>he's exactly the kind of guy I would have beaten up in high school
>weak, sensitive, soft
>shy at first, but starts to open up more as we get to know each other.
>whenever I'm nice to him he gets really blushy and cute
>enjoy complimenting him or touching him to get a reaction out of him
>It makes me feel like he's mine, my possession
>go on a couple more dates
>he's physically clingy, likes it when I hold his hand or put my arm around him
>I start to grow attached to him
>want to protect him, want to make him smile
>one date, we start talking about growing up
>I don't tell him about my dad because I don't want to appear weak
>he tells me about how he got bullied in school
>tells me how other boys would beat him and laugh at him
>starts crying a little
>wipes his eyes and apologizes
>I feel really guilty
>that’s what I did to other boys
>that’s what I would have done to him
>guilt eats me alive
>I start drinking to cope
>one night I'm completely plastered and I can't take it anymore
>call him up and tell him the truth
>tell him all the details about the other guys and what I did to them
>tell him I would have bullied him too
>hear him start crying again
>tell him he should break up with me because I'm a horrible person
>he starts speaking and can hear the tears in his voice
>he says it really means a lot to him that I feel remorse for what I did
>says he always felt like he deserved it and it makes him feel better that I see what I did as wrong
>says he's going to drive over
>comes to my place
>takes my liquor away from me and wont let me drink anymore
Continued
>sits down next to me
>asks me why I did it
>I tell him everything
>how my dad beat the shit out of me
>how I wanted to prove I wasn't weak
>how I took it out on other boys
>he hugs me
>tells me he's so sorry that happened to me
>says I don't have to hurt anyone anymore
>tells me he forgives me
>says he still likes me and still wants to be my boyfriend
>hold him like a body pillow while I fall asleep
>wake up next morning with a splitting headache
>he makes me eggs and toast for breakfast
>he has a smile on his face
>sit down at the table and eat with him
>he's really bubbly and talkative, which is good because I'm too hung over to say much
>gives me a hug as I walk out the door
>feel like I don't deserve him
>but want to try to be the man he sees in me
Anonymous
>>33955222(OP)
You have to get him pregnant
