this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Wooki@lemmy.world 7 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Literal Greenwashing.

Could easily do better.

Step 1: plant forests Step 2: lobby for the protection of existing forests including the one just created.

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 4 points 8 hours ago

Step 3: stop wasting our resources on running a glorified predictive text algorithm.

[–] burgerpocalyse@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

this is the episode of The Simpsons where homer becomes the waste management president and sells Springfield's underground to other cities for landfill use

[–] justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 hour ago

Or the movie where he dumps the pig shit in the lake

[–] ignirtoq@fedia.io 53 points 1 day ago (1 children)

“Generally, what happens to these wastes today is they go to a landfill, get dumped in a waterway, or they’re just spread on land,” said Vaulted Deep CEO Julia Reichelstein. “In all of those cases, they’re decomposing into CO2 and methane. That’s contributing to climate change.”

Waste decomposition is part of the natural carbon cycle. Burning fossil fuels isn't. We should not be suppressing part of the natural cycle so we can supplant it with our own processes. This is Hollywood accounting applied to carbon emissions, and it's not going to solve anything.

[–] napkin2020@sh.itjust.works 6 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Waste decomposition is part of the natural carbon cycle

Partially true. Factory farm animals are not natural.

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 2 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I don't know, animals sound pretty natural to me. Maybe the walls aren't, but I don't think that's what you meant

[–] napkin2020@sh.itjust.works 0 points 10 hours ago

Majority of livestock animals would not survive without humans.

[–] ohwhatfollyisman@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago

Vaulted mixes the waste, including everything from biosolids and manure to food scraps, into a sludgy cocktail, then injects it into deep geological formations sealed off from the surface.

we're literally turning our world into a shit sandwich.

[–] Angelusz@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

You're all being negative and funny about it, but have you considered you may not know better than hundreds of actual scientists?

I'm just saying, this shit is indeed hilarious, but I'm thinking they're on to something.

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 6 points 11 hours ago

I think the point most people are trying to make is that the pollution should not exist in the first place, and also that carbon offsetting doesn't work as advertised.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 14 points 23 hours ago

Coming soon to Office 365

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Headline is lying. This does not do that. Carbon offsets don't work.

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] hddsx@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 day ago

Yes, they did in fact buy shit

[–] huppakee@feddit.nl 2 points 1 day ago

Well, to be precise - if you say you do A to get B that only says something about your intention. So the headline isn't really lying, they're just saying what Microsoft is wants to achieve. I agree they will not achieve that goal because carbon offset doesn't work.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Can I donate a turd to their door?

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 day ago

As long as it's delivered by hand from about 10 feet away.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Hell with donating, I wanna get paid!

[–] grob@mstdn.social 1 points 1 day ago

@hellfire103 article is aptly filed under "Entertainment", good to see professionalism is alive and kicking