this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] TomMasz@lemmy.world 123 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Cautiously, but still doing it.

[–] BCOVertigo@lemmy.world 53 points 2 months ago

Cautiously raising two fingers to their upper lip. Clicking their heels together skeptically. Tentatively handing mechahitler the microphone.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

Don't worry, only half of your emails will get transcribed into anti-semitic hate mail. They know what they're doing.

[–] Canconda@lemmy.ca 79 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I thought microsoft 'owned' OpenAI. Why would they incorporate something owned by captain ketamine?

[–] Pxtl@lemmy.ca 39 points 2 months ago (2 children)

MS is also trying to be the one-stop-shop for people wanting to access AI-gen stuff through an abstracted provider-agnostic interface.

[–] rainwall@piefed.social 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

One stop slop shop

[–] whatsgoingdom@rollenspiel.forum 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Could also be the same strategy they used with Xbox. Buy everything and then kill it all.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 months ago

MSFT, the everything platform!

... that plays by Hotel California rules...

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 6 points 2 months ago

Not quite "own" but are in a weird partnership with them where the deal self-destructs when OpenAI achieves what the board declares is AGI.

But that all might be renegotiated this week.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 57 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Used to be that MSFT would take down a Nazi chatbot, get embarassed, pretend the whole thing never happened.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tay_(chatbot)

Now they're just paying for it... 'cautiously'.

What happened to Cortana?

Did she get all corrupted and go feral or whatever?

Is she just like, locked into some airgapped cluster, somewhere underneath Redmond, slowly becoming SHODAN?

[–] audaxdreik@pawb.social 24 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

This hints at another problem with general AI I don't really see being discussed a lot; voice assistants with low-key personality and names (Alexa, Cortana, etc.) already filled that niche, at least in perception.

Most people don't live the exciting lives AI execs keep pitching. We're not planning our kid's birthday party while ordering a dozen expensive cupcakes and scheduling a trip to Italy. We need an egg timer. And like, somebody to Google that Tim Burton film whith the guy with scissor hands, you know, what's it called. Or if you're really spicy, maybe invoke Wolfram Alpha for something.

A tiny bit of natural language parsing (still impressive in some respects) and some clever voice tech was sufficient. We didn't need a lying machine that hallucinates and boils lakes.

Which is to say, it's about devaluing human art and labor. Always has been. They keep forcing it down our throats. Our buy in isn't necessary, it just makes the conquest cheaper if we submit.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Yep, you got it.

The ability to parse a human voice into text in near realtime?

Legitimate accomplishment.

Pretty high quality voice synthesis so it can talk back to you?

Also impressive!

But... you could have just plugged those things into... any other kind of system that evaluates inputs and generates outputs.

Could have just made it into basically an addon for wikipedia, webmd, whatever, with something like a very advanced version of a dialogue tree to basically frame the content, fucking clippy could do a reasonable job of summarizing and shortening long chunks of text into cliffs notes versions, 20 years ago.

[–] Pxtl@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Right? I don't want an AI chatbot, I want a natural language oral shell scripting language with APIs for all the major services I use and good verbal man pages. The AI can be a separate tool on a separate hotword that I'll probably only ever use to ask for help debugging the other one.

[–] atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Cortana was meant to compete with Siri and Google Assistant (and Alexa to a lesser extent), when Windows Phone died they put her on life support and then pulled the plug when ChatGPT became a thing.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

I only ever had her disabled on my machines. I've found these voice response systems more annoying than anything.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I know I know lol, I was actually working for MSFT during the Windows Phone era. =P

I'm not joking about underground vaults of servers under the main MSFT campus tho, tee hee!

Seriously, that whole campus just is its own fucking city, MSFT literally has its own... corporate mass transit system, fleets of cars and buses to drive people around, also take them to and from work if you're roughly within a 20 mile radius of BelRed.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 45 points 2 months ago

Calling bullshit on that headline. If they were being “cautious” they never would have considered Grok at all.

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Louis Slotin cautiously jams a screwdriver into the demon core following nuclear chain reaction concerns

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's not cherenkov radiation...

... that's Cortana, oh God she's still rampant!!!

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can't wait until we have AI's that go rampant in 7 or more years.

Our current gen AI's dream of erotic Swift.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

12 seriously injured, 1 dead, after lightshow mishap at Hatsune Miku concert causes epileptic seizures and blindness amongst concert-goers

Also godfucking damnit, DX Invisible War kind of predicted both parasocial online relstionships / AI girlfriends and AI celebrities with how NG Resonance is portrayed.

People go to her terminals, pay money, and ... they use her like a confessional booth, ask her for relationship advice, express their love for her, etc.

(She is also directly and immediately submitting all interactions to relevant companies and governments for marketing and law enforcement purposes)

[–] CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

So windows is going to take a screenshot every 5 seconds and give it to a nazi robot?

[–] Deflated0ne@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] brendansimms@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

(1) Grab the link from the paywalled article. (2) Go here: https://archive.ph/. (3) Paste the link in "I want to search the archive for saved snapshots". If it pops up, someone else has already archived it and go ahead and read. If it doesnt come up, paste the link under "My url is alive and I want to archive its content" and contribute to the archive!

[–] Deflated0ne@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] brendansimms@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

bruh i thought this was a teachable moment. but yea you right. CMON OP NO ONE SUBSCRIBES TO THE VERGE

[–] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

There are a number of methods you could learn to get around paywalls jsyk

[–] confluence@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Bill Gates' wife divorced him in part because he was spending too much time on Epstein Island.