this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
361 points (93.9% liked)

Not The Onion

20724 readers
1172 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Please let it be a low denomination coin so I can have trains run over his face.

[–] RedC@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Silver dollar coins? Can't wait to buy as many as I can so I can melt them down and use them as Antifa challenge coins or something along those lines.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

they'll be silver-ish

[–] qevlarr@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] optissima@lemmy.ml 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Chrlie Kirk: the Worst Vessel of the american dream

[–] Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Someone ask chat gpt what the opposite of a wet dream is

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Deflated0ne@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Make it a bill so we can wipe our ass with it. Burn it. Deface it. All that fun stuff.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They'll be going full China and make it a crime to deface the dear leader.

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 2 points 5 months ago

Trump will be in deep trouble for all that orange paint he sprays on Dear Leader's face.

[–] Geobloke@aussie.zone 7 points 5 months ago

Can't wait to use my kirk bucks at the strippers. It's what he would've wanted

[–] TwinTitans@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

A podcaster? For fuck sakes guys.

[–] deathbird@mander.xyz 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

What a beautiful way to honor his life's work of self-promotion and trolling.

Anyway, healthcare pls?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I’ve always wanted an excuse to wipe my ass with money

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

you have no power over me - cashless people

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

The federal government has a ton of power over cashless people what are you talking about

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

can't see his face on cash if never hold cash

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] funkajunk@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

Literally all the power

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

the strokes didn't work, but seeing Charlie's massive dome on a currency before his own crusty mug will definitely do it.

say hello to president couchfucker.

[–] Eh_I@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

BOYCOTT MONEY!

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›