this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2025
455 points (97.1% liked)

Not The Onion

18351 readers
676 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] PalmTreeIsBestTree@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I guarantee his daughter is poisoning him so she can take his place and make even more grifting money

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

Legitimately. After seeing the vultures trying to put on Charlie Kirk's skinsuit it seems like the way to rise up in the grifting ranks is to kill the current grifter and take their place.

Edit: I don't think people state enough that charlie kirk had hundreds of millions of dollars at age 31. He was well on his way to retiring as a billionaire. The guy was literally a sellout and now there's at least a dozen grifters lining up to get at the billionaire money-faucets he had.

The dude never worked a real job since he was 18. He just did his schtick till he died.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] crunchy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 4 days ago (1 children)

First JKR, now JBP. I'm starting to see a pattern with these career pseudointellectual transphobes and black mold.

[–] Sludgehammer@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago

*Looks around my rotten rental* Oh shit... am I a transphobe?

[–] normalexit@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They should probably get him out of the hospital and bring him to a priest /s

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] elbucho@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago

Given that this guy wrote about a dream he had wherein his grandmother grabbed a fistful of her pubes and stroked his face with them while asking him to comment on how soft they were, I think we can rule out demonic attack. They may be the minions of Satan, but even demons would be like "bro, what the fuck?!?"

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Poor opioid addled grifter

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 3 days ago

Up yours woke moralists!

[–] beejboytyson@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

Man I hate crackheads, so it's OK to do drugs as long as you're "in". OK.

[–] _cryptagion@anarchist.nexus 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

oh man, first kirk and now maybe peterson too? oh please let christmas come thrice this year!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 10 points 3 days ago

It couldn't be all those weird diets and the self-medicating (and self-analyzing ig). No. Must be the house demons.

Not the first time he's seriously ill btw and if you haven't heard of his beef/bourbon diet yet, now's the time.

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›