this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2025
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[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 48 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

There is no reason for a camera to ever be in a bathroom for any reason. And no matter what reason they can come up with there will always be a downside that is substantially worse.

[–] Foni@lemmy.zip 23 points 4 months ago (2 children)

There is no reason for a camera to ever be in a bathroom for any reason.

Porn, the reason ir porn

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I got kinks I won't admit to a soul, but human waste elimination is on the opposite end of my horny meter.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

So... eating human waste?!

[–] pleaseletmein@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 months ago

Even for someone who’s into piss, corporate sponsored non consensual voyeur should be a turnoff.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I mean a pinpoint accurate bidet that is assured of 100% clean. It does make me think of that little robot asking rick what its purpose is though.

[–] markko@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That's what came to mind for me too. Just a spray nozzle responding to immediate input from the camera with no networking and no storage attached. I probably still wouldn't buy one though haha

[–] Icytrees@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 months ago

I think a heat sensor would do just as well since the butthole is hotter. Unless there's some rogue splashes, in which case it might work on low res/high contrast to avoid identifying video. Or maybe lidar, but then it might just shoot the pimples.

All I know is if we start training AI bidet cameras on millions of videos of dirty assholes we're going to get a version of skynet no one is prepared for.

[–] toomanypancakes@piefed.world 32 points 4 months ago (3 children)

If I want to take pictures of my butthole I have a camera for that already

[–] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 19 points 4 months ago

This is where you advertise your onlyfans

[–] dantheclamman@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

They say the camera points down, but that makes me wonder...what about the reflections?? Oh god, the reflections

[–] mybuttnolie@sopuli.xyz 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

the only real use for a selfie stick

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

Just be careful not to do the phone in the toilet

[–] BorisBoreUs@lemmy.world 26 points 4 months ago
[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 22 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Adult Swim pioneered this over a decade ago with SmartPipe

[–] wildbus8979@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 months ago

And remember, ~~SmartPipe~~ Kohler is definitely not a PDF file!

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The part that bothers me isn't so much that someone came up with the idea that they could sell a toilet camera marketed as a health app.

It's that it made it far enough to actually be produced and sold. Which means someone tried to go the route of making it a medical device, was told "No" for some reason or another, but said "you know what, there's still money to be made here" and they found people that had no problem making it. If they did have a problem making it, I suspect they no longer work for the teams making it. But because it's here, they found enough people to go "ok whatever."

And that's how we end up with the modern dystopia.

[–] DevoidWisdom@sh.itjust.works 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

$599 intial cost, plus $70 or $130 a year. I'm happy that they are finding really amazing, break through products to offer us. Surely this is the continued excellence we can expect from the ai frenzy. Wow!

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Wait till you get the AI powered shitter.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

That I could go for. It might actually help people with special needs.

This is just crap (pun intended)

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 months ago

$599 intial cost, plus $70 or $130 a year.

you can get patrons on OnlyFans to examine your poops and make money! Ask me how I made $2000 a month!

[–] beatnixxx@fedia.io 10 points 4 months ago
[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Beep boop. That's poop.

- My futuristic robotoilet reluctantly watching me shit in its mouth

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

First solid laugh of the day!

"Take it! SWALLOW!"

<sad computer beeps>

"WHARRGARBL"

[–] chickenf622@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Of fucking course you need to have their app to get any useful data from it. I certainly trust a plumbing manufacturer to have solid cybersecurity, and there certainly won't be any data breaches of people's poop data. When do you think we're gonna get FOSS poop cameras?

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Maybe open a feature request for buttplug.io

[–] pleaseletmein@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You’ll have to pay extra for added security measures.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 months ago

" Mr. Sanchez, before I let you into this country, you need to explain a large fecal mass on September 23 that looks like our Vice President...was this a political statement?"

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Just wait for the leaked videos of people's hairy bags and their turds coming out

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Not especially useful until the advent of RRC (rectal recognition cameras)

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

See the adult swim skit from about 10 years ago

[–] HexadecimalSky@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Seeing the comments makes me think, what happens employers start using this sort of texh trying to optimise bathroom breaks or something

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 months ago

maybe, if we turn it upside down, we can use it to unlock paired phones with sphincterprint

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 6 points 4 months ago

And they're uploaded to their AWS server for analysis I hope

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 months ago
[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

Or, and bear with me on this, we could educate people on basic matters of health. Crazy, I know! But what if?

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I don't need a video recording of my bathroom habits to tell me I need more fiber and more water. Or remind me that liquid bread satisfies neither.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 3 points 4 months ago

There was a webcomic about Google doing this and then selling the data to advertisers. These guys are just ahead of Google (or looking to bought by Google).

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I recommend this hilarious book instead

What's Your Poo Telling You?

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Can't they invent a mouth camera instead, I bet lots of bad health could be prevented with a smart one (smart like plain old smart, not "connected").