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I kinda had a similar problem. Never found the root cause, but what did the trick for me was to put an OpenWRT Router between the default ISP router and my home network.
As I said, I never figured out, why Android did not respect the DHCP settings of the default router, but here we are. Maybe it was some DNS shenanigans by the ISP's config, maybe it was a wrong DNS/DHCP configs from my side, maybe it was IPv6 shenanigans. Those are the culprits I would investigate from your side.
I configured Adguard now as the ipv6 dns server in the fritzbox as well. For now it seems to work, under settings > network & internet > network details for my home network it shows the right dns addresses now. Thanks!
private dns setting of android
Probably. If that setting is enabled, Android (including Graphene) defaults to 8.8.8.8 if the higher-priority DNS servers (manual or received from DHCP) don't support DNS-over-TLS or DNS-over-HTTPS.
I disabled private dns and it seemed to work yesterday, but today i can not connect to my services again. Any other ideas on how to pin down the issue?
Install Termux, then use either the dig or nslookup command to query the DNS name, and check which DNS server is queried. If it's the private server's address, you might be having connectivity issues. If it's 100.100.100.100, the resolver is still trying to query Tailscale's MagicDNS.
doesn't termux always default to 1.1.1.1?
edit: https://old.reddit.com/r/pihole/comments/iivdgq/psa_termux_on_android_does_not_use_system_dns/ maybe its 8.8.8.8, don't have my phone so can't check rn
Yes no matter if it works or not, it always returns the tailscale ip I configured with cloudflare, saying it is using 8.8.8.8 as the dns server.
Right... my mistake, I guess I had SSH config entries in Termux and never questioned whether SSH was using those or DNS.
Still, try to find some way to check which server is being queried. It might reveal connectivity problems with the local DNS server.