this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2026
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[–] AcidiclyBasicGlitch@sh.itjust.works 46 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Maybe I've read dumber headlines at some point, but at this moment, I feel like shit, the world feels like shit, I still haven't had any coffee, and I had scrolled past the headlines below before even coming across this one on APs front page.

I didn't even really consciously put the absolute ridiculousness of ALL of these things happening at once together until afterwards, but I guess on some level I intuitively knew because I immediately groaned in disgust and said out loud "this is the dumbest fucking sentence I've ever had to read."

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I saw yesterday that Rubio warned Iran against killing any protestors.

I just... How does the irony not kill them? How do these people remember to keep breathing?

Oh, it's easy, they're psychotic predators who have no empathy.

That's why it's so easy for them to lie, and it's why they were selected by the billionaires who hired them to hammer in the final nail in democracy's coffin. They feel no guilt. There's nothing going on behind their vacant eyes except how do I make the people that pay me the real money, (not the tax payer dollars that pay their six figure salaries, that's pocket change by comparison.) happy.

The author of Friendly Fascism predicted this and tried to warn us over 40 years ago, but nobody really paid attention.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 36 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

No, she could, it's hers to give. It just wouldn't mean anything to anyone but Trump. It would be like if Cillian Murphy gave me his best actor Oscar--absolutely meaningless.

And, maybe because of that, it's a good idea? This is the fucking world we live in now.

[–] tburkhol@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Trump is absolutely incapable of distinguishing between having a thing and having won that thing. Machado was definitely going to try to buy leadership of Venezuela with her medal, and the committee just cockblocked her.

I kinda want to see what James Maynard could get for giving his Fields Medal to Trump. Partly because it would be funny to see Trump claim to be a Fields-award winning mathematician, partly because James Maynard would make a much better Secretary of Education than that wrestler.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 2 points 2 weeks ago

Trump is absolutely incapable of distinguishing between having a thing and having won that thing.

He's the kind of dweeb that they invented participation trophies for, just so they won't scream "CHEATER!" at every event.

[–] green_red_black@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

No she couldn’t. Her giving the Nobel Prize Medal is like a Medal of Honor recipient putting up his Medal of Honor for sale.

(Albeit Norway probably doesn’t have any enforcement as they didn’t think till now.)

[–] Bloomcole@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago

As if anybody should care about the embarrassment and western imperialist circle-jerk that is the Nobel 'peace' prize.
I value it as much as the FIFA prize.

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe they shouldn't have given it to someone who wanted to give it to and constantly praises trump in the first place never mind her support for genocide and blatant imperial support.

Maybe that was the plan the whole time? He figured nobody would care if she had to give it to him?

Honestly I don't give a fuck if he takes it from her. I'm just angry we're living in this stupid fucking timeline.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 2 weeks ago

Committing war crimes to get his hands on a peace price. Okaaaaaaaaay

[–] rafoix@lemmy.zip 20 points 2 weeks ago

An Olympic runner can give his/her medal away. They can't declare someone else to be the winner.

[–] favoredponcho@lemmy.zip 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Why did they even give it to her? She doesn’t fit the profile of a Nobel peace prize recipient.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

There really isn't a "profile" of a peace price recipient.

That said, awarding her the peace prize felt like when the Nobel Peace Prize to Obama; they were giving it for people being the opposite of others without any accomplishments.

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 weeks ago

To me the whole thing is stupid.

They should just flat out tell Trump they'll give him the stupid medal at the end of his term if he doesn't bomb any more countries.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

The real news here is Juilan Assange still exists? People still think he's relevant?

[–] Korkki@lemmy.ml 14 points 2 weeks ago

She lost the chance for being Venezuela's president the moment she accepted that nobel price. Trump never forgave her for that for sure.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 14 points 2 weeks ago

Remember in Trump 1.0 when he visited some wounded soldier, and hinted around for the guy's Purple Heart, and the guy gave it to him? Trump said "Ive always wanted one of these," and kept it.

They've got a warehouse full of them. They made zillions during WWII to prepare for the invasion of Japan, which never happened. They've never had to make a new one since. All he'd have to do is tell Hegseth he wanted one, and he have it on his desk in 30 minutes.

But it's more fun to lift one from a wounded soldier.

[–] aramis87@fedia.io 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You think he knows or cares what a Nobel Prize actually looks like? Get a fake medal from MedalsAreUs, spray paint it gold, put it on a really fancy ribbon and put it in a pretty box.

No one would dare point out it was fake, and even if it he realized it himself, he'd never mention it to anyone else.

No, this is what they've always looked like. We promise.

Machado is a traitor to her own people. I hope she gets what's coming to her.

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

She can't or isn't supposed to? Because I'm pretty sure she can. Less her arms are broken.

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

She could physically give him "the prize", and even the money that went along with it. But that would be Machado giving Trumpy a prize, not the Nobel Foundation. Are you being a pedant because it amuses you, or for some other reason?

[–] lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

Did someone pee in your cereal?
someone peeing into a bowl of cereal

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Venezuelan leader? Uh, didn't she leave?

[–] Bloomcole@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

No, she's indeed the next president after Juan Guaido 🤣
Wish her the same brilliant career.
And slow cancer

[–] sudo@programming.dev 7 points 2 weeks ago

More of a loser than Guaidó.

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Nobel Peace Prize is a joke. Fuck Nobel Prizes! Let's just stop paying attention to them and focus on the Princess of Asturias Awards instead. I know it's not perfect, among its laureates you will find Google, Woody Allen, Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and Marina Abramović but I think so far no war criminal got it. The Princess for sure has way more integrity than the assholes from Nobel committees.

Maybe we should just have a rule like no billionaires or generational wealth will be recognized for doing something good with all that extra money they have but that might backfire and eliminate the bare minimum number of people that actually contribute something positive with the wealth they've accumulated but could never actually use it all in their lifetime even if they tried.

[–] MagnificentSteiner@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 weeks ago

I say how about we don't have anyone pretending to give special prizes on behalf of everyone else, especially not organisations named after warmongering cunts or royal cunts.

[–] Bloomcole@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

We gave it to the extreme-right fascist woman, not the extreme- right fascist man!

If she does, can the Nobel Committee rule her prize invalid (and, therefore, Trump's?)

[–] Loce@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Ah, so that's why he invaded Venezuela... it makes sense now.

[–] JustJack23@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 weeks ago

If she can give her's let's start a petition to give a few to Luigi Mangione or Maduro.

[–] lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com -1 points 2 weeks ago

The comments here appear to confirm the Nobel committee awarded the right person: anything a Lemmy circlejerk hates is almost certainly right & good as further corroborated by telltale signs such as histrionic overreactions.