Is only salmon acceptable? I have a cheaper source from another animal, also cladistically a fish.
Asking for a friend ...
this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2026
159 points (98.8% liked)
Not The Onion
20945 readers
1267 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I need to make a"cladistically a fish" shirt.
Hank Green would like to know your location
Biologists have been saying it far longer than him!
And here we're afforded a rare treat, to observe the elusive trouser trout in its native habitat.
shark??
The active ingredient is DNA, which they could get from any plant far easier without smelling like Gwyneth Paltrow's vagine.
If your friend waits a few hours, it should smell kinda like salmon....
I’ll just accept my inevitable mortality and pass on that one
Just regular sperm then?
Fun fact: DNA sticks to plastic really easily, so it is common practice to put "carrier DNA" in biotech products that are only DNA. This carrier DNA is at a much higher concentration than your DNA of interest and fills up the plastic so the DNA we care about doesn't. Salmon sperm extract is a common carrier DNA.
Fun fact: DNA sticks to plastic really easily,
Fun fact: no it does not. It sticks to glass well, but it only slightly adheres to polypropylene after spinning over 10,000g of force. That's why you add salt to DNA precipitation. Know every reagent in your protocol and why it is there.
it literally does, and here's data from Promega testing a eppendorf lo-bind tubes to oxygen tubes. https://worldwide.promega.com/-/media/files/resources/conference-proceedings/ishi-23/poster-abstracts/53-poster.pdf?rev=62368fd4fbb44e95a6d760af2b0cfa5d
Funfact: sperm contains protamin, the antidote for heparin which is used for anti coagulatory properties in medicine. During cardio vascular surgery you get a shit ton of heparin so they can perform the open heart surgery (so the heart lung machine doesn't get clogged). After the surgery you get protamin so you do not bleed to death. This protamin is often sourced from salmon sperm. If you have strong fish allergies you could theoretically react on it but it's not very likely.
Fun fact the best invisible ink has traditionally been semen. British intelligence switched to other stuff after their tabloids started making fun of them for it at one point, 20th century sometime idk. Lemon juice sort of works too, put a letter on a radiator and the invisible ink becomes visible.
Genetically signed correspondence, neat!
I would like to know how they found it out in the first place
Teens trying to burn their overused socks, which briefly revealed phantom hieroglyphics
Hi, my name is salmon, and I'll be doing your skin care today
Salmon here, you guys are gross
You have to admit it's probably the best part of being a salmon.
Depends on how it’s extracted.
Sounds fishy... smells...eww.
A trick they learned from old Sea Men no doubt. These johnny cum latelies are pretending like they just invented this.
This has Gwenyth Paltrow written all over it.
Pretty much everyone was booting off at the image of the cows getting artificially inseminated the other day.
Saying it's rape and animal torture and that.
Yet wiping salmon spaff all over your face in the name of vanity is apparently totally fine
So we all agree that some guy got caught blowing a salmon and made this up as an excuse, right?
I wonder how one goes about blowing a fish. . .
Salmon wanker!
I follow a lot of skincare communities online and whenever I see a product with PDRN, I cringe. Who even thought of making skincare products with it? What company approved the idea? How on Earth did any marketing team convince anyone to buy it is beyond me.
I mean, bat shit is a common ingredient in make-up and whale barf is used in high end perfumes. The cosmetic industry uses a lot of gross products.
To be fair, they didn't know that ambergris was an excretion of the whale until long after they started using it for these purposes. It was just "that waxy thing we find floating in the ocean." Also, it's apparently not vomited, but defecated.
This is "not the onion", so it's true. Ordering now!
you can make DNA from an onion.
Injected even
Is that why she always asks to cum on face then?
FISH CUM