this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 46 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Is only salmon acceptable? I have a cheaper source from another animal, also cladistically a fish.

Asking for a friend ...

[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I need to make a"cladistically a fish" shirt.

[–] runner_g@piefed.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Hank Green would like to know your location

[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Biologists have been saying it far longer than him!

[–] mangaskahn@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

And here we're afforded a rare treat, to observe the elusive trouser trout in its native habitat.

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 3 points 1 week ago
[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago

The active ingredient is DNA, which they could get from any plant far easier without smelling like Gwyneth Paltrow's vagine.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

If your friend waits a few hours, it should smell kinda like salmon....

[–] Marshezezz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I’ll just accept my inevitable mortality and pass on that one

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago

Just regular sperm then?

[–] runner_g@piefed.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fun fact: DNA sticks to plastic really easily, so it is common practice to put "carrier DNA" in biotech products that are only DNA. This carrier DNA is at a much higher concentration than your DNA of interest and fills up the plastic so the DNA we care about doesn't. Salmon sperm extract is a common carrier DNA.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Fun fact: DNA sticks to plastic really easily,

Fun fact: no it does not. It sticks to glass well, but it only slightly adheres to polypropylene after spinning over 10,000g of force. That's why you add salt to DNA precipitation. Know every reagent in your protocol and why it is there.

[–] AlmightyDoorman@kbin.earth 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Funfact: sperm contains protamin, the antidote for heparin which is used for anti coagulatory properties in medicine. During cardio vascular surgery you get a shit ton of heparin so they can perform the open heart surgery (so the heart lung machine doesn't get clogged). After the surgery you get protamin so you do not bleed to death. This protamin is often sourced from salmon sperm. If you have strong fish allergies you could theoretically react on it but it's not very likely.

[–] hector@lemmy.today 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Fun fact the best invisible ink has traditionally been semen. British intelligence switched to other stuff after their tabloids started making fun of them for it at one point, 20th century sometime idk. Lemon juice sort of works too, put a letter on a radiator and the invisible ink becomes visible.

[–] brokenwing@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I would like to know how they found it out in the first place

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Teens trying to burn their overused socks, which briefly revealed phantom hieroglyphics

[–] ServantOfRa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

Genetically signed correspondence, neat!

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

Hi, my name is salmon, and I'll be doing your skin care today

[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Salmon here, you guys are gross

[–] 69420@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You have to admit it's probably the best part of being a salmon.

[–] scytale@piefed.zip 2 points 1 week ago

Depends on how it’s extracted.

[–] Didntdoit71@feddit.online 8 points 1 week ago

Sounds fishy... smells...eww.

[–] devolution@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

This has Gwenyth Paltrow written all over it.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago

Pretty much everyone was booting off at the image of the cows getting artificially inseminated the other day.

Saying it's rape and animal torture and that.

Yet wiping salmon spaff all over your face in the name of vanity is apparently totally fine

[–] hector@lemmy.today 7 points 1 week ago

A trick they learned from old Sea Men no doubt. These johnny cum latelies are pretending like they just invented this.

[–] scutiger@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So we all agree that some guy got caught blowing a salmon and made this up as an excuse, right?

I wonder how one goes about blowing a fish. . .

[–] blackn1ght@feddit.uk 3 points 1 week ago

Salmon wanker!

[–] NeedyPlatter@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I follow a lot of skincare communities online and whenever I see a product with PDRN, I cringe. Who even thought of making skincare products with it? What company approved the idea? How on Earth did any marketing team convince anyone to buy it is beyond me.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I mean, bat shit is a common ingredient in make-up and whale barf is used in high end perfumes. The cosmetic industry uses a lot of gross products.

[–] wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

To be fair, they didn't know that ambergris was an excretion of the whale until long after they started using it for these purposes. It was just "that waxy thing we find floating in the ocean." Also, it's apparently not vomited, but defecated.

[–] witty_username@feddit.nl 1 points 1 week ago

Injected even

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is "not the onion", so it's true. Ordering now!

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago

you can make DNA from an onion.

[–] GreenBeanMachine@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Is that why she always asks to cum on face then?