Selfhosted

ISP can see your traffic anyways regardless if their router is at your end or not. In here any kind of 'user behavior monitoring' or whatever they call it is illegal, but the routers ISPs generally give out are as cheap as you can get so they are generally not too reliable and they tend to have pretty limited features.

Also, depending on ISP, they might roll out updates on your device which may or may not reset the configuration. That's usually (at least around here) made with ISPs account on the router and if you disable/remove that their automation can't access your router anymore.

So, as a rule of thumb, your own router is likely better for any kind of self hosting or other tinkering, but there's exceptions too.

Regardless of whether your ISP is leveraging their ownership of your router to violate your privacy, they are using it to exploit you financially. Owning your own equipment is always going to save you money compared to what an ISP will charge you in rent.

Even if you control your router/modem, they still control the other end, it connects to. And some more infrastructure along the path. So i think it depends a bit where you're going with this. If you're worried about them doing packet inspection, or logging IP numbers you connect to, I don't think there's a big difference. They could do it anywhere. And they'll likely do it in some datacenter.

A router interfaces with your local network, though. So in theory a router can be used to connect to your internal devices and computers and maybe you have an open network share without password protection or something like that. But we're talking violating your constitutional rights here. It's highly illegal in most jurisdictions to enter your home and go through your stuff.

I'll buy my own router because I can then configure it to my liking. And my ISP charges way too much for renting one. And what I also do is not use my ISP's DNS service. That'd just send every domain name I open to their logfiles. Instead I use one from OpenNIC

Recently, a major ISP in the Netherlands was determined to be streaming metadata from within their customer's networks to Lifemote, a Turkish AI company.

Here's a report in Dutch: https://tweakers.net/nieuws/245620/odido-router-stuurde-analyticsdata-naar-turks-ai-bedrijf.html

This is just the latest one to get caught doing it, but determine how comfortable you are having your internal network exposed to a 3rd party.

I've used personal/non-ISP modems and routers for 25 years because I'm not comfortable with it it. At all... But hey, you do you.

This is why I got a mini PC with five Ethernet ports and configured it as a router/pihole.

Everything goes through a WireGuard VPN, and I have DNS that’s private.

And I know it’s secure because I wrote the iptables myself.

Owning your own modem/router gives you full access to security features. It gives you opportunity to install custom firmware. If you can spring for the $$, I think it would be advisable. That way, the only thing you need from your ISP is the cable/delivery device piping internet into your house.

I would get a router that supports an open source firmware or operating system like OpenWRT. Which one depends entirely on your use case. Getting a router from your ISP is fine if you're allowed to and capable of flashing it, and if you trust them (I'm lucky that I have an ISP with a track record of fighting for their users' privacy and integrity).

It's pretty simple if you don't own the router you don't own the Wi-Fi. You can treat your home Wi-Fi a little bit like a public Wi-Fi and just make sure all of your devices are secure using encrypted DNS and encrypted traffic and overall not open on any unsecured ports and you should be fine.

Personally, all of my services on my home server are only available through my WireGuard VPN, so it doesn't matter what Wi-Fi I'm using, it's always going to be encrypted peer-to-peer.

Acronyms, initialisms, abbreviations, contractions, and other phrases which expand to something larger, that I've seen in this thread:

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Depends entirely on the ISP

Most ISPs have remote access to their modems. You should use your own if possible. If you can't, then put it in bridge mode and connect your own router to it.

It's extremely unlikely that they are going to do any kind of deep traffic inspection in the router/modem itself. Inspecting network traffic is very intensive though and gives very little value since almost all traffic is encrypted/HTTPS today, with all major browsers even showing scare warnings if's regular unencrypted HTTP. Potentially they could track DNS queries, but you can mitigate this with DNS over TLS or DNS over HTTPS (For best privacy I would recommend Mullvad: https://mullvad.net/en/help/dns-over-https-and-dns-over-tls)

And of course, make sure that anything you are self-hosting is encrypted and using proper HTTPS certificates. I would recommend setting up a reverse proxy like Nginx or Traefik that you expose. Then you can route to different internal services over the same port based on hostname. Also make sure you have a good certificate from Letsencrypt