2deck

joined 2 years ago
[โ€“] 2deck@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Yes, ive had zero issues with it ๐Ÿ‘

[โ€“] 2deck@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

The writing is excellent. I enjoyed examining all the mundane things in the world to read descriptions that always seemed to start from a novel perspective.

Here's the description of a Wide Brimmed Hat; "The crown is crushed by wear into a hundred papery creases, and the brim is stained in the fractal signatures of sweat and salt."

56
The Golden Rule (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by 2deck@lemmy.world to c/4chan@lemmy.world
 

An Easier Read:

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that's when you met me.

"What... what happened?" You asked. "Where am I?"

"You died," I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

"There was a... a truck and it was skidding..."

"Yup," I said.

"... I died?"

"Yup. But don't feel bad about it. Everyone dies," I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. "What is this place?" You asked. "Is this the afterlife?"

"More or less," I said.

"Are you god?" You asked.

"Yup," I replied. "I'm God."

"My kids... my wife," you said.

"What about them?"

"Will they be all right?"

"That's what I like to see," I said. "You just died and your main concern is for your family. That's good stuff right there."

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn't look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

"Don't worry," I said. "They'll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn't have time to grow contempt for you. You wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it's any consolation, she'll feel very guilty for feeling relieved."

"Oh," you said. "So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?"

"Neither," I said. "You'll be reincarnated."

"Ah," you said. "So the Hindus were right,"

"All religions are right in their own way," I said. "Walk with me."

You followed along as we strode through the void. "Where are we going?"

"Nowhere in particular," I said. "It's just nice to walk while we talk."

"So what's the point, then?" You asked. "When I get reborn, I'll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won't matter."

"Not so!" I said. "You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don't remember them right now."

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. "Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It's like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it's hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you've gained all the experiences it had.

"You've been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven't stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you'd start remembering everything. But there's no point to doing that between each life."

"How many times have I been reincarnated, then?"

"Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives." I said. "This time around, you'll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD."

"Wait, what?" You stammered. "You're sending me back in time?"

"Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from."

"Where you come from?" You said.

"Oh sure," I explained "I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you'll want to know what it's like there, but honestly you wouldn't understand." "Oh," you said, a little let down. "But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point."

"Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don't even know it's happening."

"So what's the point of it all?"

"Seriously?" I asked. "Seriously? You're asking me for the meaning of life? Isn't that a little stereotypical?"

"Well it's a reasonable question," you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. "The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature."

"You mean mankind? You want us to mature?"

"No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect."

"Just me? What about everyone else?"

"There is no one else," I said. "In this universe, there's just you and me."

You stared blankly at me. "But all the people on earth..."

"All you. Different incarnations of you."

"Wait. I'm everyone!?"

"Now you're getting it," I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

"I'm every human being who ever lived?"

"Or who will ever live, yes."

"I'm Abraham Lincoln?"

"And you're John Wilkes Booth, too," I added.

"I'm Hitler?" You said, appalled.

"And you're the millions he killed."

"I'm Jesus?"

"And you're everyone who followed him."

You fell silent.

"Every time you victimized someone," I said, "you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you've done, you've done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you."

You thought for a long time.

"Why?" You asked me. "Why do all this?"

"Because someday, you will become like me. Because that's what you are. You're one of my kind. You're my child."

"Whoa," you said, incredulous. "You mean I'm a god?"

"No. Not yet. You're a fetus. You're still growing. Once you've lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born."

"So the whole universe," you said, "it's just..."

"An egg." I answered. "Now it's time for you to move on to your next life."

And I sent you on your way.

The End

Edit: Original by Andy Weir

[โ€“] 2deck@lemmy.world 36 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The surgeon yelled

WITNESS!!

And thrust the heart into their chest.

[โ€“] 2deck@lemmy.world 22 points 10 months ago

Only fake people take those stairs...

[โ€“] 2deck@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

You could only get so far apart because it gave a birds eye view of both players. It made riding bikes around hilarious - you'd instantly go from highway speed to stopped because one person crashed.

250
Bike Bros (lemmy.world)
 
 
[โ€“] 2deck@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hope peps don't mind a couple of golden oldies :)

 
[โ€“] 2deck@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

For roughly 12 people to use haha

[โ€“] 2deck@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is it difficult to prove that's what's explicitly being sold in this case?

[โ€“] 2deck@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Silence brand

[โ€“] 2deck@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm TIRED of these mother f@%#ing particles in this mother f@%#ing air!

[โ€“] 2deck@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

"it tastes better if you uhhh hunted the animal yourself..."

Is now

"It tastes better if you uhhh raise the animal on a strict diet which you imagine will somehow marinate the meat while it grows"

Get a clue, you wierdo.

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