A private company is not storing petabytes of encrypted data on the chance they might turn a profit with that information later. They can't even turn a profit with the useful petabytes of videos they have on YouTube. I can rest assured that every CEO is trying to get the next round of stock buy backs going.
The government totally would harvest petabytes of encrypted data, but they're not revealing their spy program because you want to see muscle orgys. At least until a more religious government is formed.
Get a lightweight gaming laptop instead. Combine with a lap desk.