Fuck all of this
Normally when people say this it is at least a bit of an exageration, but not in this case. That is some straight up nightmare fuel.
Heres a taster for those of you who don't want to read the whole thing.
...bisection of his thoracoabdominal cavity, which resulted in fragmentation of his body, followed by expulsion of all of the internal organs of his chest and abdomen...
I am adding "made a window in the block" to my lexicon. Thank you.
You wipe up to the fourth knuckle?
Sure, I'll just wave hi to the folks at the urinals as I waddle over to the sink with my shit caked ass.
Maybe he thinks touching his butthole would make him gay and a bidet would force him to wipe.
Fires up pressure washer with extreme prejudice.
You can fly with a gun in the US as long as it is in a checked bag. As long as it was in her checked bag and stored properly then the TSA has no reason to care. It was on her to know what is and isn't allowed at her destination.
This is definitely someone who shouldn't be allowed to own a gun. If you pull a gun on an assailant and refuse to shoot, then congratulations, you've just armed your assailant. You never pull a gun on anyone or anything unless you are planning to shoot it. What an absolute moron. They give clowns a bad name.
My new excuse is, "I only know linux, I don't know anything about windows."
That's basically it. They're just there just in case they're needed and many people actually can't stand working like that. There are a ton of jobs where someone only needs to be there just so any potential work gets done right away. But it's shocking how few people actually enjoy getting paid to do nothing most of the time. It definitely takes a certain mindset.
I work a similar job right now. I'm support in a factory. I show up to work with the expectation that I'll only actually be working for maybe about 20-30% of my shift. If a machine needs attention or a production coworker has a question then I deal with it, otherwise I read a book. Whenever one of our production workers gets promoted to support, it always takes them months to get used to not working. They always start out trying to take literally every call just to have work to do and nervously twiddling their thumbs while staring into space at their desk when they don't. Eventually they start pulling out their phone but they always look so guilty about it and hide it as soon as a boss walks by. And these are internal hires who even have the advantage of having personally watched me fucking around on my phone sending memes to my boss all day at work every day without issue. We actually just lost an external hire maintenance guy because he was constantly woried that he wasn't doing enough work and was going to get fired.