Dave

I don't even care about encryption (except normal TLS). If the intent is that it's for sharing within the family, generally with people being able to see each others' stuff, and I also control the server, it doesn't seem that important.

Circles seems like it might fit much of what you're after. It's based on Matrix and is intended for this kind of use case, but I don't think it's mature enough to onboard everyone to just yet. Them having lost FUTO funding means it will also probably develop at a slower rate now that's it's back to volunteer time (with the main devs likely losing enthusiasm after having that funding cut).

Wow, good effort on that!

you can boost or favorite, but I am – and I think you are probably – looking for something with more variety, like emoji responses, right?

Honestly, this is low down on my list. Yes, it would be great, but I have had enough trouble finding something that handles uploading videos ok. Emoji responses are not a mandatory thing for me.

Pixelfed is an interesting suggestion. It always feels like it's intended to be public. Were you thinking each user would have to configure default privacy settings? I can see how to restrict to followers but haven't yet found how to stop anyone being able to follow you. I think for me, if a new user has to set up the privacy settings to stop them posting everything public, that's probably not the right platform.

BTW there is PixelDroid as a dedicated Pixelfed app, but it's only on Fdroid.

I personally have a Mediawiki set up that my wife and I have used for years, but it's not something I want to share wider. I haven't found it hard to maintain, though (I'm using the docker version).

How do you use the Dokuwiki? Do you create a page for each family event with pictures and videos and things? Then other people can go and have a look? What kind of organisation structure do you use? How do others learn that there is a new page to see?

Oh I should investigate the plugins.

With your family, do you have non-technical and elderly users participating and doing OK with it?

I've tried Flarum in the past, but it really doesn't handle media well. Just looking on the demo site now, no option to add a video, and to post an image you need to use markdown to add an image URL.

Is that different when it's not the demo site?

As someone who is concerned that users won't be able to work out how to upload a video, asking users to install Fdroid seems a step too far.

It's simple enough for me. And many of the people who have grown up with technology can probably work it out. But there is a huge difference in effort between the two.

Say my 70 year old uncle (that does not live nearby) needs to install Conversations.

Maybe we should agree to disagree, but I do not think I can just leave people to invite other people and sort it out on their own. I'm gonna be spending my days hand holding people. Maybe my family is dumber than average.

In my experience none of the federated platforms handle video well, especially the facebook like platforms. They are built around things being public, and expect you to upload to youtube or some other video site in order to post a video. If they let you upload videos at all, it's as an attachment. Admittedly HumHub is a bit like that, but it's not too janky from a user experience perspective.

One thing I liked about Zusam is the automatic resizing of videos to make them reasonably sized. If I record a 2 minute video, it can be 300 or 400MB. Zusam can be configured to resize the video to a set maximum size in order to make it more reasonable for people watching. HumHub doesn't do this, but I have wondered if I could use a cron job and ffmpeg to do it.

Do you want this social media to be for your family to use only with family members or for them to use with family and beyond?

I haven't decided yet. Initially we'd start with people who know our kids. But if some of those people wanted to set up a page for their own kids, they wouldn't want some of the people on our page who they don't know. And they might want people on their page that don't know our kids. So then all the HubHub privacy settings come in handy where people can create a space and control who can see what.

Revolt could be good as a local family group chat if you like the discord style.

I don't really think that's something that will be familiar enough to people, especially grant parents and other family of that generation. And I don't think a group chat is what I'm after, self hosting a group chat doesn't seem to have many advantages over say a Signal group chat.

You’ve probably already tried it but Pixelfed/mastodon/misskey sound like the easiest to get family on board with and seem like they would be good family social media platforms IMO.

These are generally public, and even if you have it set up as a private instance with no federation then it still feels like a shouting at the void kind of platform. None of the family I have in mind use twitter or mastodon, but everyone uses facebook. So I'm aiming for that sort of a feel. But IMO Friendica is not something I feel is good enough yet from a user experience point of view, the same with Diaspora*.

All the corporate gamification feature are probably quite annoying.

I might have missed that. What features are you thinking about? I haven't seen any points or badges or things like that?

I don't think Lemmy is really a good format for this. Many of the users won't be familiar with Reddit or forums, and it's better suited to strangers ranking things with the votes. Facebook style I think works better for people who now each other, and especially when they are only familiar with facebook.

Fdroid is not suitable for the average person. The average person can install an app from google play, but Fdroid is quite a jump in steps, not to mention all the warnings that Android gives them, all but telling them not to do it.

The idea of a snikket server is good, but I feel it's not much different that any other chat app. HumHub works on both mobile and desktop, and provides many features above a chat app. It's more similar to Facebook groups (which people are already familiar with) but without the spying, whereas I don't get the benefit of Snikket over say Signal.

What is it that makes it unsuitable for families? It seems to be pretty familiar feeling to people used to Facebook.