A conversation I had over there was the inspiration for me to finally polish this writing up and post it here.
The point is not that the mods are power tripping, but that the whole structure which allows toxic users to flood the zone in uncontrolled numbers, and depends on volunteer moderators to deal with them all in order to keep things vaguely on the rails, is the fundamental problem. If that deeper issue could get fixed, I think any complaints anyone might have about mod behavior would instantly evaporate.
Personally, I like the idea of a $1/month fee paid to the server operators. Something Awful does something like that, and it works like gangbusters apparently. Right now, the entitlement of free access without even a laughably nominal fee creates a not-ideal set of expectations of both sides, both users and admins.
It's probably a total nonstarter of an idea, because the user culture on Lemmy right now is so entitled that it would be seen as some kind of grave insult to the users, in their position as free demanders of whatever service level they've come to expect and they will yell if they don't get it. Which is precisely the problem. Community and volunteerism are wonderful things. Even as it is, it's much better than the commercial model. But it can definitely be improved from here.
Like I said, I thought of a few different ways of trying to redress the balance, but nothing that was convincing. I think, in complete seriousness, that just starting fresh in some other corner of the fediverse might be a better way. I have a whole host of other types of thoughts about that and what this all means, from the point of view of my involvement in the whole operation, which will have to wait for me to have time for a whole separate essay for anyone who wants to hear it.