Oh I know about alpine, sadly it didn't "click" the same way void did and felt more like a distro to use in embedded systems or similar space constrained situations. Gentoo on the other hand I like, but the initial setup + waiting for stuff to compile put me off of it. Maybe I'll try it again sometime with all precompiled packages.
claymore
Void is my favourite distro, although I haven't used it for a while. Extremely fast package manager, rolling release but not bleeding edge, super simple, very fun to tinker with (more than Arch imo). I stopped using it because I wanted something more popular for easier troubleshooting. But if I ever get a secondary PC/laptop I'll probably start using it again.
Plymouth would be what you're looking for. You'd have to find an XP theme or create one yourself.
What case is that? I was thinking of getting the Pixel 8 and was looking for a case like you describe but didn't find any
I never see toffeeshare mentioned. P2P, encrypted, no size limit. Only problem is you can't send folders, only files, but that's easily solved with tarballs or RARs.
Not unintuitive, but thinking about it from a beginner standpoint, calamares-based systems are way easier to 'get'. These distros don't ask for domain names, proxies, usage surveys etc. This stuff isn't that complicated, but they add an extra level of things you need to worry about if you've never used Linux before, which is the kind of person who this flow chart is made for.
I've used ncmpcpp and more recently Cantata to replace foobar, not as much customization but it gets a lot of stuff right for me.
Personally I'd love to see the CEO thrown out. Maybe then Tumblr will benefit as well.