dandelion

I also see a vulva

just a reminder that Newsweek is a conspiracy-peddling, right-wing rag that we should not be driving traffic to

voiced th is like this, that, mother

unvoiced th like thick, thimble, thirty

notice how the voiced th has a buzzing vocalization during the th sound, you can feel your teeth buzzing as you say the th in this

but when you pronounce thirty that buzzing is absent and the first buzzing starts with the i (the vowel is the first voiced part).

fistful of frags is strangely addictive, what's your load out / weapon choices?

took too much scrolling to find AOE 2

of course, the app has obvious problems, but I don't see that as justifying the gloating and sense of revenge enjoyment happening.

Instead I see a kind of discontent about women I find concerning, which seems ignorant of the widespread violence women experience or what it's like for women who take risks when dating men.

Men are not all equally problematic or privileged, but they are generally in a position of power relative to women and are acting like the victims here.

They should direct their discontent to patriarchy which creates the situation where violence against women is dismissed or accepted, and which motivates women to use apps to check if the person they are dating has a history of violent behavior.

Patriarchy which perpetuates the narrative that men are natural predators and women natural prey is what victimizes men here, not the women who rightfully fear and feel victimized by the minority of men who are violent.

The app enables the photos to be run through a reverse image search, enabling them to run a basic background check, check against public sex offender databases, and check for photos that might get flagged as being used in “catfishing” — misrepresenting one’s identity online.

The app also features a “Tea Party Group Chat,” which allows users to directly share information about men, and has a rating function, which allows users to share their experiences with Yelp-style reviews, awarding men a “green flag” or a “red flag.”

https://www.cnn.com/2025/07/25/us/tea-app-dating-privacy-cec

It's a bit like Rate My Professor, but for dating.

Honestly I cyncially expect this kind of app might inevitably exist for rating people of all genders (or that dating apps might incorporate this Uber-style rating system), but the reason this app exists has directly to do with the violence women face from intimate partners.

The point is that men who are enjoying the doxxing of women who have used this app are ignoring the context, or even have a warped sense of the context, as if this is narrowly about (legitimate) privacy concerns and the harms caused by the app.

Even if the concerns about the app are justified, the revenge enjoyment betrays a view much harder to defend, that all the women who used the app are equally cupable, or that doxxing women using the app is equivalent to women doxxing abusive men through the app.

Men are not all equally privileged, but there is a broad inequality both to how violence is distributed and how that plays out in dating situations. Women are not wrong to fear men. One in three women have experienced sexual or physical violence, most of that violence being perpetuated by men.

Since this is the context for the use of this app, it's not neutral to doxx its users or to claim it's fair because men feel (legitimate) concerns about the app's privacy violations.

There is some of that happening, like when women get together and discuss how they're being treated it's "gossip" and implied as immoral.

I think some men might read what you've said and think you are denying any toxic gossip exists, it's important to have nuance and not alienate men who otherwise would be allies, but I think overall your point is well taken.

??

The replies in this thread are disturbing, giving me a sense that Lemmy has a misogyny problem; maybe I was naïve, but I expected outrage about 4chan doxxing women trying to protect one another, instead I see lots of revenge enjoyment as if being doxxed on 4chan is justice for ... warning one another about dangerous men they encounter when dating?

The inability to empathize and take seriously the threats posed to women or to understand their motivation to protect one another is alarming.

There is no good faith extended, but also no evidence presented that instead of safety the app was just for gossip, it's just taken as assumed that women are wrong for using Tea and they all deserve to be doxxed.