kescusay

Hi everyone,

News is weird. When it's weird enough, it reads like articles from The Onion, and that's what we're all about. But as the community grows, there's more and more content being posted here that just isn't very Onion-y.

Jimmy Carter Becomes Second President Convicted Of Felony For Sticking Up Waffle House

Take a look at that headline from The Onion today. Or this one:

World Series Of Poker Entrants Play One Hand Face-Up So Everyone Can Learn Rules

Or this one:

New Hormone-Free IUD Wards Off Sperm With Steady Emission Of Police-Grade Pepper Spray

That's the flavor we're going for. We want real, credible news articles with headlines that read like they're from The Onion.

This is not the community for:

• Non-Onion-y political news (it's gotta be absurd enough to look Onion-y)
• Non-Onion-y regular news (it's gotta be absurd enough to look Onion-y)
• Satire (it's gotta be actual news)
• Fake news from fly-by-night "news" sites (again, it's gotta be actual news)

That means not every ridiculous thing a politician does qualifies as appropriate content here.

I need your help, though... I need people to report content that just isn't Onion-y, and I need people to try not to post non-Onion-y content in the first place.

Finally, I need help moderating, so this is also a formal call for new mods! Post below if you think you're ready to take on moderation for one of the larger Lemmy communities! Tell me why you'd like to mod, and link to a news story from any time (it doesn't have to be current) that has a properly Onion-y headline, to show that you really get this community.

I'll pick two people to become new moderators for the community from participants. Good luck!

TAMPA, Fla. (WFLA) — A Florida man was arrested last month after admitting he sent a bomb threat to himself to get “revenge” on someone, according to a criminal complaint obtained by NBC affiliate WBBH.

Democrat Tom Suozzi has won the New York special election to the U.S. House, according to an AP race call. Suozzi will serve out the remainder of the term for former GOP Rep. George Santos, who was expelled from the House last year.

A Florida man was arrested Tuesday morning after he drove through a closed beach and into the ocean in Volusia County.

According to the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office, shortly before 9 a.m., deputies were called to New Smyrna Beach after a vehicle drove around a closed gate and accessed the beach without paying the toll fee.

In the first day they sent out flyers, the After School Satan Club already has three students signed up for the new year.

We've been getting some weird posts lately that... Well, they're not making me think it's gotta be an Onion headline, that's for sure.

So just a little refresher. Posts should be:

1. Links to news stories from…
2. …credible sources, with…
3. …their original headlines, that…
4. …would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

If it's not Onion-y, it doesn't belong here. Bizarre, horrific, and violent news can be here if the headline reads like something out of The Onion, but if it doesn't, it's going away. And if there's too much non-Onion-like content from an account, that account is going away, too.

If you're not sure whether the real news headline you've found is like The Onion, here's a few sample Onion headlines from today:

• "Visiting Friend Pleasantly Surprised By City’s Open Hostility Toward Homeless People"
• "Increasingly Powerful Trans Person Capable Of Using Every Single Bathroom At Once"
• "Man Feels Like Bystanders Are Arguing For Him To Put Gun Down In Bad Faith"
• "Wally The Emotional Support Alligator Went To See The Phillies"
• ‘New York Times’ Issues Apology For Reporting Palestinian Deaths

See? Find headlines from real news outlets that remind you of headlines like those. And just to prove my point: One of them is real.