You're supposed to be celebrating the more widespread adoption of federated software and a break away from centrally controlled corpo environments in general. This is the public retaking the internet for themselves.
If you don't like the particular content, cool, don't go there. I don't go on Mastodon either but I can appreciate why it's there.
In a past life, pretty plausible.
Now that Elmo is the First Lady, this is the best TOS that's ever been written by anyone ever. It's perfect. It probably trumps the constitution because of how perfect it is.