this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2024
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Everyone keeps saying she was flirting, but I really think she was just trying to make a friend, but everyone saw 'flirting' because of their genders. The post literally says she has no friends.
This is why women tend to be wary of friendships with guys; any time we do, we get come on to because any amount of friendly interaction is perceived as flirting, or ditched because the guy we thought we were trying to befriend finds out we have a boyfriend.
Shit, if I were this girl who struggled to make friends, thought I had found one finally, but get friend-dumped when they find out they can't fuck me (for the millionth time in her life, I'm sure), I'd probably quit, too.
She could've been trying to make a friend and it was all an unfortunate misunderstanding. Both having been a bit more forward about things could've helped.
I understand what you're saying, but there's also a huge stigma around being a girl and leading with the fact that you have an SO. Like most things socially for women, it feels like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't when trying to befriend men most of the time.
I've personally tried both methods throughout my life, and have lost every friendship with men I've tried to have because of it. It gets pretty lonely, since the other women in my immediate community aren't really interested in my gaming hobbies. I end up a lot like this girl on the post, with no friends of either gender.
I was thinking more when he's asking about going hiking. At that point it would probably be good for both, either side to make sure what the expectations are.
Of course if you start off right away with "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" then that won't be looked at very favourably lol
Tbh, it sounds like she did try her best to clarify by mentioning her boyfriend before they actually went to the destination. I could easily see that she perceived her friend asking her to go hiking, so she excitedly agreed. Got home, realized what that would look like, and thought she might bring it up in a way that wouldn't look like the "I have a boyfriend, FYI" trope
She mentioned it pretty much last minute on the day they were supposed to go. We don't know the full circumstances and I get that you're trying to see it in the best light but the situation was far from optimal. Best moment to ask would've been before agreeing, so whether purposefully or just because she didn't realize, that's where her error happened. Not to say that the guy couldn't have clarified it was a date.