this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2024
620 points (97.7% liked)

Not The Onion

12358 readers
149 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 83 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Imagine being an animal control guy and having a school seriously call you and ask you to take a stranger's child because of that child's participation in a subculture.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] winterayars@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Imagine having the cops called on you for being a child predator when you're just animal control.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I don’t think I’d have the willpower to avoid responding by calling them pigs on the loose. I’d already want to be dead as animal control tasked with catching furry schoolchildren.

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago
[–] Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Pretty sure that will leave the animal control people open to being charged with botched citizen arrests. Not sure what Oklahoma's particular arrest laws are like but for most States you are pretty limited in what you can do to perform one and the standards of places you can use to detain an arrested person in are usually at least required to be humane and actively monitored.

The answer to "Little Timmy wore a tiger costume to school for Halloween do you have a cage available? " should properly be "Get fucked authoritarian scum I have actual work to do."