this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2025
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Now they can hear me scream “shut the fuck up Alexa!!!!” every time she says “…by the way…” when I just want to know what time it is.
Me while cooking mac and cheese for the kids:
"Echo, set timer for 8 minutes"
Echo: "
GOOD EVENING [me], SETTING TIMER FOR 8 MINUTES"No, shut the fuck up and just set the goddamn timer without the extra fluff. I've seen Ex Machina, I know you have no empathy, so knock off the "nice" shit and do what I fucking ask without anything else.
There are a few settings that make it better. Like enabling "brief mode" or something like that
I have brief mode on, she doesn’t give a shit. I need “say the absolute minimum number of words” mode.
You can buy an egg timer for a few bucks. They say the perfect number of words; zero.
I don’t need a timer though.
Say this: "Alexa, disable by the way"
"Alexa, from now on, call me 'Big Dick Daddy from Cincinnati'."
Wait hold on
I wonder if I can get the Google assistant British lady to call me that
Edit: Lmfao it works