this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
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[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 48 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (35 children)

So ive put a lot of thot into this, and after going through what I did with my ex wife, I think it wouldn't be a problem so long as

A. I know about it.

B. I get access to it and all paid content

C. No one else appears in it. This covers the whole "well that was an old video I uploaded" scenario too.

D. The relationship is otherwise secure.

E. But the real problem would be someone with an onlyfans wanting to date me.

[–] Bunnylux@lemmy.world 60 points 10 months ago (2 children)

It's fine to not want to date someone with an onlyfans, but I feel like the guys who go out of their way to say it usually have other red flags about

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Basically men who: —

Could never get a woman that hot

Get jealous easily

Don't like women having agency over their sexuality

Don't like women having agency over themselves full stop

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Right I don't see where you get the ability to mindread people nor guilt people into being in a relationship that they don't want to be in.

[–] agitatedpotato@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I just ask that people realize what I realize, which is it's an issue with ME that I'm not secure enough to be with a person who I can see having sex with someone else. I cannot control my feelings but I am responsible for them, or at the very least, other people are not responsible for them(at least in this example anyway it's not as if the of model was having sex with other people AT me.)

[–] Bunnylux@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] agitatedpotato@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Oh absolutely, I dont feel bad about that. But the feeling I get thinking about being with someone who does that kind of stuff is exactly a feeling of insecurity. It's fine and normal, same way its normal to have a little anxiety or a little depression. In healthy doses it's essentially just personality traits, but to me those feeling stem from insecurity. Perhaps it's even innate and not something to be 'fixed' but it still feels like insecurity to me. But I'm realizing that I suppose I can only speak for myself here.

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world -1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Except insecurity the word is used always as a pejorative.

[–] agitatedpotato@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It doesn't have to. Same with anxiety, alone no one's going to think the word itself is good, yet a healthy dose of anxiety is simply awareness.

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world -2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It isn't about what you think it should mean it matters how people use it.

[–] agitatedpotato@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Thats not what I think it should mean, thats how emotions work. Those feelings stem from insecurity. That's factual. People say they're so OCD when they like to be organized, is that what OCD means now?

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I think you are aware that your comparison is false.

[–] agitatedpotato@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I think you're grasping at straws because you don't want to engage with complex feelings.

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Fine you go around demanding everyone change the meaning of a word.

[–] agitatedpotato@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You seem to be the only one who doesn't get it. Good luck with your emotional intelligence though.

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"seem". Making assumptions now.

[–] agitatedpotato@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago

Really scaping the bottom of the barrel. Seems to me is synonymous with looks to me. Got anything else or just more dissappontment for your English teacher?

[–] RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 10 months ago

Ehehehehee, a lot of thot. Nice.

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I wouldn't mind C, so long as it's someone where all 3 of us are willing to have some fun together privately anyway

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