this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2025
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[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)
> be me 34
> decide to look for a hag around my age
> most of them have at least one kid, usually the annoying kind, and only see you as a babysitter
> same ones are also super focused on their kids, no hobbies, no interests, no life
> most of them seem to be super conservative
> some of them are so bigoted they can only talk about "those people"
> finally found someone who's bearable for more than 20 minutes
> never mind, she's alcoholic
> finally found someone not alcoholic and is bearable for even more time
> never mind, she's both 300+km away and also married
How do I find hot singles on the fediverse? I'm not reinstalling Tinder!
[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I tried that with Reddit. Parents cockblocked me. Had nothing but my missed life to think about in the meantime, so my mental health slips, and I ask who besides Serial killers and rapists deserves to die (looking for a description of myself in the answers).

Implying someone's life is worth more than others is a big no no on Reddit.

Get permabanned for inciting violence.

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Nothing but your missed life? You can live a lot of life without a romantic partner, as much I very much understand it can still feel lonely at times.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 3 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I missed my entire life. It's not all about that. Though I also regret not experiencing what everyone else did. The mistakes, the heartbreaks, you know, normal people stuff, that's mostly FOMO. What really sucks is I actually missed out on almost everything that makes life worth living. So, now I'm just in the mindset that I should just treat the good things of this world as false, and something that is meant for rich/normal people.

I'm just here to work, and fight. I need to make sure no one else ends up the same, ever again. Until then, there's no point in resting.

So I went back to seeing myself as unimportant, and putting my mission first.

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

How old are you? You can learn an instrument at any age, my dad learned how to make pastries in his late forties, and there are so many other fun skills and hobbies you can develop pretty easily. You may have missed stuff but you’re still alive and that means you are the one in control of what you are actively doing or not doing right now. Drowning yourself in self-pity isn’t going to do anyone any favours. You can look back at what you missed for the next 30-40 years or you can forward to what you can get done in that time.

I’d also love to know what this “mission” is and I hope it doesn’t have anything to do with being mad at women and has more to do with shit like worker protections and wealth equality such that people can live their lives to the fullest.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I could no doubt eventually learn everything, if I was not being terrorized both at home and at work. As a matter of fact, I sneaked a peak at how to play the piano once. I didn't get far of course, because I'm afraid to even touch it. I am 29 years old, and watching the last of my twenties evaporate, trying to get someone else out of debt, as they make stupid decisions and say they will make it up to me once we get money. I have no doubt they can make money, they may even get us rich, but I don't care about money past a certain point.

If I had a decent tablet, the Laptop I have, some solar, peace, and free time, I would eventually solve all of my own problems that can be solved.

EDIT: Oh yea, you were interested in the mission. Most of my notes are a scizo-like mess of what I want to do, but one thing that stands out is that I want to help people become as self-sufficient as possible, as I think that will help them escape abusive circumstances.

No one to exploit: the oppressive system collapses. Why do you think those in-charge are so desperate to make people work? It is simple: all of their power comes from a sort of blackmail.

Now, if a worker is secure, they can choose their job. They won't be pressured into doing unethical things, because they won't have to think about their and their family's survival all the time. They will have a lot more time to socialize, and become more pro-social.

They will be able to protest, to organize, to become candidates themselves. TPTB depend on almost free labor to build their infrastructure, armies, and exploitative institutions.

What happens when the "peasants" can just say "actually no, I'm fine with my garden and small income", what then? They will have to raise anti-independence laws, and antagonize the "peasants" until those "peasants" ask themselves: "wait, why do they have the right to just take my stuff for free?" and they start resisting.

This applies to all levels of society. Abusive spouse? You can survive on your own, just leave them. Abusive family? Toxic co-workers? It's not like you need food from them, you can grow your own.

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

We’re the same age. Maybe not in the same situation and I can appreciate that, but as far as time as concerned you’ve got a lot more life to live. I started learning mandolin a year and half ago and can play pretty competently at jams and stuff now. If it’s music you’re looking at, I’d encourage sitting at the piano with a song you like and playing along with it. It doesn’t need to be an expert rendition or any, and honestly a lot of people actually forget that messing around is still practice. You got a lot of time, our lives have barely even started my dude, it just can feel weird since of our nearly thirty years we were kinda just going through the motions of going to school and stuff, not having a lot of personal control, etc.. In reality we’ve barely have probably 8-10 years to do much about anything and we should have many decades ahead of us, each also able to build off the last in ways that the “first” decade could only dream of.

And yea, as far as this “mission” goes those are great values and ones I stand up loudly for regularly. Not sure what they have to do with this thread or your original comment or anything but yea. Self-sufficient is also a fine idea, but I would aim to also make communities self-sufficient. The owner class doesn’t really have skills, just money, but we all have knowledge and tools and ability. I spend a lot of time helping my friends fix their homes and cars and stuff(and teaching them that they can do it, too) and if someone needs to be moved I’m the guy to call. Building resilient, connect communities will go a super long way to reach the goals you’re after.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You should be able to stand on your own two feet, before teaming up with anyone. Trade is fine, co-operation is a very good thing, but you should always be able to primarily live from your own means, and trade with others should always be considered a luxury that can be taken away at any time.

We don't and can't own people, so we should not depend on them. As you can see, even our basic needs, our basic humanity can be denied.

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No man is an island. There’s only so much one can do on their own. I can do an awful lot on my own, but even much of that is because I’m learning from so many others. I’m fairly clever, curious, and confident enough to execute what I’m trying to do but I still need others.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So what are you trying to do? I'm curious.

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Like what do I still need help for or what am I doing to build up my community?

For the first one there’s still plenty I can’t do yet. Like sewing for example, but it’s ok because I have a friend who can help me. We save money by me helping her with house things and she saved my expensive exercise pants from a hole in the knee and my work jeans from a couple holes and tears. Which transitions us into what I do for the community because I don’t always trade, either, and sometimes it’s just helping for the love of the game like woth moving. By myself, my ability to organize people and load up stuff in a moving truck is enough yo save people hundreds, or even thousands, of dollars on movers. If people need tools or skills or whatever I’m there. I have a car, which is less common where I am, and my trans friend needed help moving food for the local march last year so I offered to help them with that.

We can’t be experts at everything and we certainly don’t have the time to do it all ourselves. I always try as much as I can but it’s ok to ask others for help and we need to foster that sense of community support. Your ideas are good but they really work best when we can all trust each other and use that trust to organize against the owner class that’s keeping us down in the first place. Money is a good way to handle a lot of transactions of varying scales like this, especially when we have a global world, but the way capitalism uses money is twisted and corrupt, and it removes our ability to care for and support each other. Local businesses thrive when people can pay them and places like Walmart thrive when they’ve choked out competition and driven wages so low that no one can be expected to spend money on local goods, thereby making the town/city/region/country weaker.

Build skills, share skills.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I like you. I will try, but...things are grim here. I'm trying to get an edge and break through.

If I lived alone, I could reduce expenses so much, that 3 months of work would cover me for years, letting me upskill and experiment

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I hear ya. I imagine you’re in the States and I’m in Canada myself so we’re better but still feeling it up here.

Curious how living alone would reduce expenses, though.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 2 hours ago

Less food waste from disagreements, you stick to your plan and don't get derailed by someone wanting a brand new AC or something.

We derail each other for some reason.

[–] FridaySteve@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So I went back to seeing myself as unimportant

If that's how you see yourself, imagine what people think when they don't even know you and meet you for the first time. Focus on what you have to offer other people, not what other people have that you want.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's just even when I'm focused on other people, anything I can do, is just second rate to the average person. If they try, they can always do it better than me.

I am temporary support for most people who are friends with me. I do a good thing here and there, and after that dries out, they lose interest.

[–] FridaySteve@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Who told you there was anything at all you could do in your life that there wouldn't be something better than you at? Why do you let that stop you from doing anything?

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 3 days ago

I have friends I worry about daily, which sometimes gets in the way of self-improvement. I have a very rigid schedule that I'm like, failing right now. I work 9 hours a day, and get up at 5 AM. I have to pay off my mother's debt, or she is screwed. She works for an abusive company, and I put up with abuse in order to get her out.