1238
Disappointed Christians say God is delaying the Rapture until Epstein Files are released
(www.dailystar.co.uk)
this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
1238 points (99.0% liked)
Not The Onion
18183 readers
2279 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I mean Jesus could release the files himself hes all powerful no?
He's about to release the... Look squirrel!
Jesus is coming! Open your mouth!
Swallow the sins of man
Yeah but he doesn't know how to use windows 11, so he's just going to print out an email and send it in the post.
But is he powerful enough to create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it?
Jesus works for those in power so therefore he's protecting them, that's the only answer to this.
That's Supply Side Jesus, the one Evangelicals worship. He's a dick