this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
1244 points (99.0% liked)

Not The Onion

18203 readers
1054 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] konalt@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The rapture happened ages ago, but none of us went to heaven. We're staying along for the ride.

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Because it's impossible to be good, in the words of Eleanor Shellstrop: "There's this chicken sandwich that if you eat it, it means you hate gay people. And it's delicious!"

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I'm sorry but Chick-fil-A is bland as fuck and I'll never understand why people love it so much. The chicken is always dry, the sauce selection sucks, and the lettuce & tomato are always warm & soggy. I just don't get it. Even by fast food standards, the quality is shit. I've been to multiple locations and they're all the same.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's too bad there's only one fried chicken restaurant in existence

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Simply do this for every product you buy, or go to the Bad Place.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I feel like you can keep track of the ones actively doing genocide and famous for it when they're just one franchise instead of a megaconglomerate that makes everything under two hundred different labels.

Go to Popeyes instead of getting in line with the rest of the WASPs, it's not a big ask.