this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 67 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

I hate the idiots in charge of this country.

Does anyone living in a sane country wanna do a greencard marriage thing? I'm a good cook, enjoy keeping my space clean, and am a fairly experienced flatterer, if that sweetens the pot any.

.....pretty please? :(

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I will suck literally anything.

[–] oxysis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Anyone want to do that for me too? I might be disabled but I am very funny, I can do pixel art so I can make stuff for you, I have good style and can help you dress well, I can sew so I can mend your clothes! You can also have all my steam games!

Please get me out of here :(

[–] Kepion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 day ago

I'd marry you both but the UK doesn't seem too far behind your shitshow :(

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago

So we made it to the "Russian bride" level already. American Spouses

[–] skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Let's all start some kind of legal harem. Or a really big "family".

[–] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Say less, cousin Skuzz. I'm in.

[–] skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 12 hours ago

Aye, cousin kelpie_is_trying, how's the family anyway? Been a while.