this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
1251 points (98.9% liked)

Not The Onion

18418 readers
2262 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 82 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

What if the rapture did happen but none of them were worthy?

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 18 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Oh, please no. I so desperately want humanity (and the planet) to be rid of these people.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 46 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Hang on lads, I've got an idea.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 2 points 3 weeks ago

The all new Rapture Drink, now Kool-Aid flavored!

send them all to mars!

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Wow, covid was an extremely shitty rapture.

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 5 points 3 weeks ago

Even with god's chosen president doing everything he could to get more people up to heaven...

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 weeks ago

explains a lot tbh.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 weeks ago

Or what if the rapture happened and the only creature deemed to fit the criteria was a single highly surprised but very chill about it capybara?

Specifically this dude: