this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2025
984 points (98.9% liked)

Not The Onion

18361 readers
1350 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] IndridCold@lemmy.ca 51 points 1 day ago (3 children)

He's really thinking "All those cocks and not enough time to suck them all."

[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot."

/37

[–] FoolishObserver@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

In a row??!?!!??!!

[–] BlackPenguins@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

He needs to figure out the Mean Jerk Time.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

some of them seemed to be too large or long for him.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 day ago

Nothing a bit of determination can't fix