Not The Onion

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RFK Jr. Warns Teenagers Now Have Less Sperm Than 65-Year-Old Men (www.mediaite.com)

submitted 3 days ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 164 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Yeah, I'm not taking ANY advice from this dumbass. What does he even do for a living anyways???

checks job title

SECRETARY OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES???? HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN???

looks at world

Oh. Right.

[–] waldo_was_here@piefed.social 38 points 3 days ago (2 children)

A worm is the culprit

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 47 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The worm died of starvation.

[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 22 points 3 days ago

[–] waldo_was_here@piefed.social 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Best one today ,thanks

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not a joke.

The doctor believed that the abnormality seen on his scans “was caused by a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died,” Mr. Kennedy said in the deposition.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/08/us/rfk-jr-brain-health-memory-loss.html

[–] Dreaming_Novaling@lemmy.zip 3 points 3 days ago

Mother nature is an amazing comedian

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The thing is, he made that story up to get out of being prosecuted for the crimes he did.

[–] waldo_was_here@piefed.social 0 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

I swear to god we have a used car salesman for a president and a snake oil huckster for secretary of health. It goes downhill from there. Everyone talks about fascism but the kakistocracy is fucking real.

[–] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 days ago

He’s a sperm counter.

It’s honest work counting those little wigglers.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

hes also on roids.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago

And probably is getting kickbacks from roid-merchants.

[–] obinice@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

It's not the world thankfully, just their corner of it.

Imagine if we were all run by people like that, I think WWIII would happen randomly on a weekly basis haha :-(