Not The Onion

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RFK Jr. Warns Teenagers Now Have Less Sperm Than 65-Year-Old Men (www.mediaite.com)

submitted 4 days ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Put a picture of Trump under the pillow before you go to sleep. During the night, the supreme wisdom of Trump will be focused by the pillow and absorbed by your subconscious mind. In the morning, you’ll just know the correct answer.

Also works with university exams. No need to read any books as long as you have the photo of the relevant professor under your pillow.

[–] loweffortname@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Do I have to use a MyPillow for best results?

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 2 points 2 days ago

Any pillow will do as long as it’s manufactured by a company with a nazi CEO.