this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2025
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It's messy AF
Guys are afraid of rejection, but also not great at making themselves more appealing candidates. That whole woman chooses the bear thing is real, even if, in general, we're not worse than the bear.
From the woman's standpoint, if they let the guy in and get knocked up, they might end up having to raise the kid and maybe deal with some asshole for 20 years. Statistically, they have more to lose.
It's even harder when you're young because you don't want someone with kids, or issues, or baggage, but then being uncharismatic and mediocre is seriously underrated baggage.
We need male boot camps for loneliness with counselors and coaches. Help people work on their empathy, see what the other side sees and figure out how to work toward improvement to the point where they can find what they're looking for.
The new season of King of the Hill, S14E9 "No Hank Left Behind" nailed that boot camp thing. Starts off as an Andrew Tate parody, ends with Hank teaching a bunch of near incels the error of their ways.
I had no idea, i'll have to dig it up! Thanks!