this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2026
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[โ€“] lobut@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] lobut@lemmy.ca 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If you're upset with my feedback, adjust your expectations.

[โ€“] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's exactly the point. I'm not upset because I don't expect people online to have any sort of sense. I adjusted that expectation long ago and I'm much happier for it.

But you seem to be assuming that I'm saying everyone should just drop their expectations and be happy. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that suffering is caused by desire. So if you can reduce your desire, you can reduce your suffering.

But many times you can't, or shouldn't, reduce your desire. I won't ever desire to be okay with what's happening in my country, for example. I choose to be unhappy with it.

So choose to be fucking unhappy. It's okay to be unhappy. I'm not going to judge you for it.

[โ€“] pycorax@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What's the difference between that and suppressing your true feelings? From my perspective, it just seems like a strategy for bottling up what you actually feel rather than letting your true feelings out. On the surface at least, it sounds like that's a recipe for it blowing up at some point in a much worse way?

[โ€“] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The difference is changing your mind.

[โ€“] pycorax@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Mind expanding on that? Because to put it bluntly, part of it just sounds like giving up and stagnating.

[โ€“] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's up to you. It's your mind.

Example: I used to get really angry at people online when they were being stupid. My expectation of people was that they weren't stupid, or would at least listen and learn. That expectation needed to change if I wanted to enjoy being online. So I changed my mind. I no longer expect people to not be stubborn idiots. Some are, and that's ok.

Is it giving up? Giving up an expectation, yes. Did I give up trying to converse with the not stupid ones? Nope! And now I'm in a much better mood to do it.

[โ€“] pycorax@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

Well I can definitely agree with that if it's minor things like these. After all, you're likely to not encounter this person after the conversation online. However, I think it's a very different context if the object in question is more concrete and something you can own to improve your QOL or more.