this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2026
324 points (98.5% liked)

Not The Onion

20640 readers
2690 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

North Carolina’s Michael Phillips revealed that he had a 0.38in member in bid to reduce stigma of the condition

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 22 hours ago (5 children)
[–] macaw_dean_settle@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago
[–] psoul@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago
[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 12 points 21 hours ago

In the words of Ron White, "I might not hit bottom, but I'm gonna stretch out the sides".

[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 22 hours ago (2 children)
[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 6 points 21 hours ago

Red Stripe peen

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 9 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

I've seen dick as long as my foot and as thin as my toe. Lance dick.

Does anyone enjoy long and thin?

[–] psoul@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

Ah the one that makes you feel like you’re getting stabbed in the coochy

[–] forwhomthecattolls@sh.itjust.works 16 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] spicytuna62@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago

Intraosseous insemination

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 7 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago (3 children)
[–] macaw_dean_settle@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

Yeah, use a better search like Bing or duckduckgo. googol sucks and was never any good.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

🍾

Edit: That was supposed to be a corkscrew joke but sparkling wine doesn't need a corkscrew. Oops.

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

I like to think of them as little impellers.