this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2026
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I mostly lurk here, and I know we've had this discussion come up a number of times since Discord's age verification changes were announced, but I figured this video offers value for the walkthrough and comparative analysis. Like me, the video authors aren't seasoned self-hosters, and I've still got a lot to learn. Stoat and Fluxer both look appealing to me for my needs, but Stoat seemingly needs self-hosted servers to route through their master server (unless I'm missing something stupid) and I replicated the 404 for Fluxer's self-hosting documentation seen in the video, so it's looking like I'm leaning toward a Matrix server of some kind. Hopefully everyone looking for the Discord exit ramp is closer to finding it after this video.

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[–] Dojan@pawb.social 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

For me it's federation and encryption. Yeah obviously, if I'm in a public space then encryption means fuck all, but for messages between me and close friends I want encryption.

[–] dudesss@lemmy.ca 2 points 50 minutes ago* (last edited 49 minutes ago)

I agree with the public spaces. Just put https and we're good.

The worst part of Matrix is needing to copy recovery key onto each new device or install, or else you will lose access to all your messages in public servers. Its been discouraging and I rarely use Matrix because of this inconvenience, but I really want to -- but it's too exhausting and time consuming. And I lose track of conversations if I lost the key, which isn't practical if I'm working on something and getting help.