Not The Onion

20906 readers

1139 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

330

FEMA disaster chief claims he is able to teleport and 'landed in a ditch' (www.themirror.com)

submitted 20 hours ago by Krauerking@lemy.lol to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

55 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Of course it was a waffle house he "teleported" to. Seems you never end up at one by choice.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 161 points 20 hours ago (5 children)

I think "teleporting to Waffle House" is a new favorite euphemism for getting totally shitfaced

[–] W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 hours ago

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 52 points 20 hours ago

Its shockingly accurate.

[–] deathbird@mander.xyz 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I've teleported to many a Waffle House after a long night.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 hours ago

Norms in my case.

[–] xvertigox@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago

This comment ironically makes me wish I could give you gold.