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FEMA Official Says He Teleported to Waffle House. Experts Are Dubious. (www.nytimes.com)

submitted 5 hours ago by silence7@slrpnk.net to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 34 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

"FEMA official blacked out and came to at a Waffle House"

FTFY

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 5 points 2 hours ago

blacked out and came to at a Waffle House

I have a proposal to add this to the Waffle House FAQs, if they have them.

Q: I teleported to Waffle House. Am I a god? Was I abducted by aliens? Am I the most important person in history?

A: While we cannot definitively rule out any of those things, every time this has happened in the past was due to the customer blacking out and going to the only place that was open at the time. In fact, this situation accounts for a large portion of our revenue. Don't think of yourself as a pathetic brainless drunk loser. You're an important part of the economy.