this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2026
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The NYT was roundly mocked for the original headline and has now changed it to

No One at Waffle House Remembers FEMA Official Who Says He Teleported In

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[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 9 points 7 hours ago

blacked out and came to at a Waffle House

I have a proposal to add this to the Waffle House FAQs, if they have them.

Q: I teleported to Waffle House. Am I a god? Was I abducted by aliens? Am I the most important person in history?

A: While we cannot definitively rule out any of those things, every time this has happened in the past was due to the customer blacking out and going to the only place that was open at the time. In fact, this situation accounts for a large portion of our revenue. Don't think of yourself as a pathetic brainless drunk loser. You're an important part of the economy.