this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2026
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Yeah, unfortunately you can get a DWI for pulling over and napping in your car on the side of the road because you didn't feel safe driving. Because they argue how else did you get there if not by driving. And I suppose no one sober would choose to start drinking on the side of the road in a car.
A good challenge to this might be to use an acceptable BAC testing model right out of the box to record your BAC of 0.00, driving to the side of a road police travel by, retesting BAC of 0.00, removing alcohol from trunk, drinking and testing your BAC until an officer arrests you, then using the video and data for visual aids in the jury trial in your defense.
You'll likely still get some fine for being considered to have wasted the states' time & money, and may even lose if you're unattractive and/or arbitrarily considered a public nuissance. But you'd likely be among the most cited case law for cases involving the dumbest college kids (e.g. me, based on how much time I've spent on this).
It's even worse than that. You can be parked right outside of a bar and still get a DWI, because if you're in the driver's seat and could conceivably access the keys, you're considered to be 'in control of the vehicle', which is all it takes. So if you're going to do this, make sure the car isn't running, the keys aren't anywhere near the ignition, and you're in the back seat.
Back around 2005 or so, I was stationed in Japan with the US military. A buddy of mine parked his car on the shopping strip in front of the military base's main gate and then walked to a bar. Later that night, intoxicated, he stumbled back to his car, intent to sleep it off in the back seat before going home.
A gate guard saw him drunkenly ambling toward his car with a key in hand and ran after him. Busted him for a DUI on the spot. Dude didn't even get into his car and he got a charge on his permanent military record for intent to drive under the influence of alcohol.
I dunno how things work in the civilian sector (I don't drink at all), but the military doesn't play games. If you're drunk and have access to a car key and a vehicle, they'll bust you.
That's fucked up.
And guess what: having an open container of alcohol in a car is its own separate crime, just to make sure all those bases are covered.
You underestimate me.